Hmm, who knew I still didn't have Halloween out of my system yet? I blame the line about "scary ghost stories." I always thought that was a rather strange inclusion... Anyway, I'm combining holidays here with It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. (Please note: I do not condone the lobbing of foreign objects at anyone's house on Halloween or otherwise. Thank you.)
It's the Most Frightening Time of the Year
It's the most frightening time of the year,
With the goblins and witches
And faces with stitches
And pointy green ears.
It's the most frightening time of the year.
It's the bat flappin'-est season of all,
With the crawlies and creepies
That make you lose sleep as
You stare at the wall.
It's the bat flappin'-est season of all.
There'll be mazes for haunting
And neighbors for taunting
With shaving cream, eggs and t.p.
There'll be much trick-or-treating
And candy for eating -
As long as it's wrapped properly!
It's the most frightening time of the year.
But halfway through November,
You'll stop and remember
The fun, not the fear.
It's the most frightening time
It's the most frightening time
It's the most frightening time
Of the year!
Turkish delight, so tasty and enticing.
It is the jewel of this Narnian north.
Soon will the queen, her sledge so swiftly slicing
Through sparkling snow, bring the prized sweeties forth?
She will, I hope, though I am disappointed
That I must take my siblings to her throne.
I would be pleased if I could be anointed.
Oh, I'd do fine if I ruled on my own,
And I'd eat Turkish delight, that treat divine!
Lucy was right, but I must do some scheming.
They mustn't know I've seen her magic land.
I'll make them think that she was merely dreaming.
Yes, I am wise, and I have it all planned.
And who is she, cavorting with a stranger
With fur and hooves who claims to be her friend?
I wouldn't heed his words, but I can't change her.
I'd scold that thing she's so quick to defend,
And I'd eat Turkish delight, that treat divine!
Susan is not - and never will be - Mother.
I wish she'd go off and leave me in peace.
Peter is worse, a nagging older brother
Whose criticisms of me never cease.
So I'm the boy who will say Lucy's crazy
Until a "Prince" is added to my name.
I'm cold and sore. My thoughts are getting hazy,
But that wardrobe door's the entry to my fame,
And I'll eat Turkish delight, that treat divine!
Here's a parody about a climactic moment in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, to the tune of Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. Which reminds me, I really need to see that movie...
Harry, Don't Let Fleur's Sister Drown
It's task number two,
And no one knows why
The goblet chose you,
But you've got to try.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
You're swimming so well.
You're winning the race.
It's easy to tell
You're bound for first place.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
We know she's been annoying,
A bit of a French flake,
But in your heart you know you should
Save her sister from this lake.
Although you are chilled
And probably numb,
Just think of how thrilled
She'll be when you come.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
You might sacrifice
A minute or two,
But since you're so nice,
It's what you must do.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
And Fleur will be so grateful,
She'll lighten up, you'll see.
She won't be rude and hateful now,
And she'll fall for Bill Weasley.
Oh, it's task number two,
And no one knows why
The goblet chose you,
But you've got to try.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
I'm sliding into Christmas mode here, so I'll probably be posting a lot of carol parodies for a while... This one's to Winter Wonderland and in the voice of Nick from Freaks and Geeks, circa the episode I'm With the Band.
Rockin' With My Buddies in the Band
Lindsay, hey, won'tcha listen
When we play? If we're missin'
A note here and there,
I really don't care,
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Well, I don't say this proudly,
But my mind's kinda cloudy.
It never seems clear
Except when I'm here
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Lindsay, you are such a stunning woman.
Very soon I'm gonna write a song
Just to prove how much I care for you, man,
And I will sing it to you all day long.
I will never get tired
Of this kit. I'm inspired
By all twenty-nine
Of these drums of mine,
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
I could play a solo like John Bonham
If Dad wasn't shouting, "Keep it down!"
I'm afraid he'll someday try to pawn 'em,
These drums that make the most fantastic sound.
Nothin' feels so fulfillin',
So I'm really unwillin'
To give 'em up now.
I'll make it somehow,
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Here is yet another Smallville parody, to the tune Silver Bells, which was once my favorite Christmas carol and still ranks pretty high. No particular moment correlates with this one, but sometime before the end of season three.
Lionel
You have black locks,
And Lex lacks locks,
But he echoes your style
With his suits that convey elite crispness.
You are passing
On your lasting
Legacy of great guile.
You're creating a villain to fear.
Lionel, Lionel.
Your life of crime is a pity.
You have been stained by sin,
And it will haunt you someday.
If he knew right,
He could do right,
But so far all he's seen
From his father is vice without measure.
It is my hunch
You've a big bunch
Of regret, so come clean.
You're a broken man under that sneer.
Lionel, Lionel.
Your life of crime is a pity.
You have been stained by sin,
And it will haunt you someday.
Yay for Robin Hood! Here's a parody of Nowhere Man about the Sheriff of Nottingham.
Nottingham
Sheriff of Nottingham,
You are such a naughty man,
Making all your naughty plans for Robin Hood.
Everyone despises you.
Your real friends are very few.
Is it worth it to be rude and mean?
Nottingham, it's no good
Waging battles in Sherwood.
Nottingham, watch out for his merry band!
He's as sly as he can be,
Blending in with every tree,
Shooting arrows expertly. You'll fall.
Nottingham, don't tarry
In the woods. Be wary.
Let him be, and leave Sherwood as fast as you can.
Everyone despises you.
Your real friends are very few.
Is it worth it to be rude and mean?
Nottingham, it's no good
Waging battles in Sherwood.
Nottingham, watch out for his merry band!
Sheriff of Nottingham,
You are such a naughty man,
Making all your naughty plans for Robin Hood.
Making all your naughty plans for Robin Hood.
Making all your naughty plans for Robin Hood.
The other day, I blazed through seven episodes of The Muppet Show while putting together a particularly tricky haunted house puzzle, so I have the Muppets on the brain even more than usual. Here's a tribute to the always ornery Statler and Waldorf to the tune of Love Me Do.
Love to Boo
We love to boo.
A scathing review
Will come right on cue
Cuz we love to boo.
Oh, love to boo...
We love to boo.
Our chuckles are few.
We have a great view,
But we sit and stew.
We love to boo.
Drippy and dumb,
Fit for a fool.
Having to watch
This show is cruel!
We love to boo.
That bear has no clue.
The frog's stupid too,
And we ought to sue.
We love to boo.
We love to boo.
Oh, it's nothing new.
It's just what we do.
Cuz we love to boo.
Oh, love to boo.
We love to boo.
Oh, love to boo...
