Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Gilderoy, Gilderoy...

Well, I don't suppose it's really too much of a spoiler to mention that Gilderoy Lockhart didn't pop up in the seventh book. I can't really see where he would have fit in, though he was one of a very few characters from previous books who didn't turn up at all this time around. I thought the scene in Order of the Phoenix might be a teaser, and I would have gotten a kick out of him somehow popping up and accidentally helping Harry by doing something really dopey, though I suppose he'd have to get out of St. Mungo's for that, and that doesn't seem too likely.

Evidently the scene was just her way of wrapping up his storyline, showing he's just as full of himself as ever, and that despite how popular he seems at the beginning of Chamber of Secrets, nobody really misses him or wonders how he's doing. Poor Gilderoy... Though not poor Gilderoy, because he's blissfully ignorant, with the memory charm dimming an already muddled mind so that he's perfectly contented but utterly oblivious. Anyway, here's a little repobation for my dear Gilderoy Lockhart...

Gilderoy, Gilderoy...

Gilderoy, Gilderoy, what have you done?
How did you earn those awards that you've won?
How'd you find time to explore dragons' lairs
When you're so busy arranging your hairs?

Gilderoy, Gilderoy, somewhere beneath
Your flawless face and your glistening teeth,
Though you might claim you're just misunderstood,
There is a fellow who's up to no good.

Gilderoy, Gilderoy, here is the snag:
You've never battled a vampire or hag.
You've never dueled with a werewolf or troll.
Pixies are even beyond your control!

Gilderoy, Gilderoy, none of it's real!
Your smile's the only thing you didn't steal.
Leeching off others to bolster your fame...
Gilderoy, Gilderoy, Gilderoy... Shame!

No comments:

Post a Comment