Well, it's been quite a year. Quite a month, too, in which I felt far more frazzled than I would like and have often found myself questioning my purpose in this world. I took a M*A*S*H personality survey a while back that determined the character I most resembled was Father Mulcahy. At the time, I was a bit disappointed I didn't get Radar, who's always been my favorite character on that show, which is one of the dearest to my heart. But the more I think about it, the more I think I am like Father Mulcahy, timid, mousy, well-intentioned but with a task far more nebulous than that of a surgeon or a company clerk. His job is ministry, but it's hard to measure the impact he has, hard to know if he's making any difference at all.
This filksong is in essence a retelling of the episode Dear Sis, which is creeping up to become possibly my all-time favorite episode of M*A*S*H. It's a tribute to Father Mulcahy and all those like him - and who hasn't questioned his or her usefulness now and again? But the important thing is that we persevere, doing whatever we feel is right and good for us to do as best we can. It's to the tune of Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Old City Bar, a gorgeous song that makes epic a small moment of human kindness.
May the end of the year be a blessed one for all of you, and here's to renewed inspiration and purpose in the coming year and all those that follow.
Old Woolen Cap
In the midst of a war
The doctors deplored
For the lives that were shattered
As boys became men,
Sat a chaplain, contrite,
Huddled sadly to write
A note to his sister,
Confessing his sin.
This war's toll was appalling.
The Father was falling
A victim to thoughts of inadequacy.
Surrounded by pain, he
Implored to see plainly
That he had brought light to someone in misery.
He was seething inside
When he fruitlessly tried
To subdue a young man
Enraged to the core.
When the boy dealt a blow,
The priest punched him, and so
Was filled with remorse,
And he loathed himself more
Agony stained his face
As he begged God for grace,
So he was a sad sight
At the party that night
Till the new guy in town,
Who'd been wearing a frown,
Got the gift the priest said
The clerk ought to send 'round.
Standing by, so beguiling,
Young Radar was smiling,
And Charles, who had spurned his superior air,
Said, eyes spilling over,
"You saved me. You lowered
A bucket into the well of my despair.
And you raised me up, Father, to the light of day."
Father John was so touched, didn't know what to say.
So he mused to himself, wholly humbled and awed,
How this old woolen cap brought his message from God.
And in this distant place, though he'd felt grim defeat,
Christmas never had tasted so filling and sweet.
Father John felt the light of that first Christmas star,
Unencumbered by doubts that had plagued him thus far.
He was only a man,
And he sometimes did wrong,
But at last he knew that he belonged.
Gentle Father Mulcahy,
On that winter's day,
Realized his importance and pledged to hold fast.
He silently savored
The fruits of his labor,
Having found in himself a good shepherd at last.
As the grateful priest smiled,
He remained unaware
That the Lord wasn't done
With His answer to prayer.
Then he heard as Hawkeye
Raised his voice and his drink
In a toast to a guy
Who helped souls not to sink.
And he lauded the way
Father John Patrick spread
Decency, how his strength
Helped disperse gloom and dread.
He called for a prayer
They sang earnestly:
"Dona nobis pachem."
Give us peace, give us peace.
As the snow began falling,
The wounded came calling.
While "give us peace" lingered like frost in the air,
The priest carried on. God had shown John
How a meek chaplain might lift a soul from despair.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
O City of Metropolis (O Little Town of Bethlehem, Phillips Brooks / Lewis Redner)
Christmas is nearly upon us now, so I thought it would be a good time to post the first of two parodies that will serve as a sort of Christmas card from me. (In fact, I included this one in my physical Christmas card.) Given my obsession this year with Superman, I thought it might be nice if my Chistmas greetings (to the tune of O Little Town of Bethlehem) reflected that. Hope yours is very merry!
O City of Metropolis
O city of Metropolis,
I watch you as I fly.
Your problems all seem very small
From up here in the sky.
I hear your people pining
For me to make things right,
But riding on the wings of dawn,
You're such a peaceful sight.
This is my sanctuary.
I hover far above,
Forgoing sleep to calmly keep
An eye on those I love.
I float just like a feather
And yet am bound to Earth,
This realm of man more homelike than
The planet of my birth.
How violently, how violently
My rivals flaunt their sin.
I hope I can undo their plans,
But where do I begin?
Calamities keep coming.
My efforts wear me thin.
I come up here so I can clear
My head of all the din.
I pray for you, Metropolis -
Yes, Superman can pray,
For Krypton's son, for all he's done,
Can only save the day.
I know who holds tomorrow;
I hope you know as well.
Though I may be a hero, He's
The true Emmanuel.
O City of Metropolis
O city of Metropolis,
I watch you as I fly.
Your problems all seem very small
From up here in the sky.
I hear your people pining
For me to make things right,
But riding on the wings of dawn,
You're such a peaceful sight.
This is my sanctuary.
I hover far above,
Forgoing sleep to calmly keep
An eye on those I love.
I float just like a feather
And yet am bound to Earth,
This realm of man more homelike than
The planet of my birth.
How violently, how violently
My rivals flaunt their sin.
I hope I can undo their plans,
But where do I begin?
Calamities keep coming.
My efforts wear me thin.
I come up here so I can clear
My head of all the din.
I pray for you, Metropolis -
Yes, Superman can pray,
For Krypton's son, for all he's done,
Can only save the day.
I know who holds tomorrow;
I hope you know as well.
Though I may be a hero, He's
The true Emmanuel.
Sunday, December 3, 2006
Don't They Know It Isn't Even Fall? (Do They Know It's Christmas?, Bob Geldof / Midge Ure)
A week ago, I was delighted to discover that my favorite local radio station has decided to play nothing but seasonal music for the next month. Ever since, I've been tuning in as often as I can, and one of the songs that has really stuck with me is Do They Know It's Christmas?. So inevitably a song running through my head so much provided some inspiration. Thus a rousing anthem rallying the western world against hunger in Africa becomes a rant against the extension of the Christmas shopping season into ridiculously early territory. I guess it all boils down to consumerism either way...
Don't They Know It Isn't Even Fall?
It's summertime,
Coming up on Labor Day.
In summertime
The winter seems to be far away.
But once the aisles are emptied
Of the swimsuits and beach toys,
All the months will be a blur till Christmastime.
So please beware.
Preyed on by sugarplums,
Your bills will climb
Before December ever comes.
When you near those picture windows,
You will be paralyzed by fear
That the merchandise they're showing's
For the closing of the year.
After months of endless jingling,
Silver bells will make you blue,
And you'll want to shove Saint Nick back up that flue!
Though there won't be snow outside until November here,
The stores are decked with phony trees and lights.
Each blink of Rudolph's nose
Makes irritation grow.
Don't they know it isn't even fall?
Here's to waiting until Thanksgiving's done.
Here's to thinking anticipation's fun.
Don't they know it isn't even fall?
It's absurd.
It's absurd.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August...
Don't They Know It Isn't Even Fall?
It's summertime,
Coming up on Labor Day.
In summertime
The winter seems to be far away.
But once the aisles are emptied
Of the swimsuits and beach toys,
All the months will be a blur till Christmastime.
So please beware.
Preyed on by sugarplums,
Your bills will climb
Before December ever comes.
When you near those picture windows,
You will be paralyzed by fear
That the merchandise they're showing's
For the closing of the year.
After months of endless jingling,
Silver bells will make you blue,
And you'll want to shove Saint Nick back up that flue!
Though there won't be snow outside until November here,
The stores are decked with phony trees and lights.
Each blink of Rudolph's nose
Makes irritation grow.
Don't they know it isn't even fall?
Here's to waiting until Thanksgiving's done.
Here's to thinking anticipation's fun.
Don't they know it isn't even fall?
It's absurd.
It's absurd.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August.
It's absurd selling ornaments in August...
Thursday, November 30, 2006
It's the Most Frightening Time of the Year (It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, Eddie Pola / George Wyle)
Hmm, who knew I still didn't have Halloween out of my system yet? I blame the line about "scary ghost stories." I always thought that was a rather strange inclusion... Anyway, I'm combining holidays here with It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. (Please note: I do not condone the lobbing of foreign objects at anyone's house on Halloween or otherwise. Thank you.)
It's the Most Frightening Time of the Year
It's the most frightening time of the year,
With the goblins and witches
And faces with stitches
And pointy green ears.
It's the most frightening time of the year.
It's the bat flappin'-est season of all,
With the crawlies and creepies
That make you lose sleep as
You stare at the wall.
It's the bat flappin'-est season of all.
There'll be mazes for haunting
And neighbors for taunting
With shaving cream, eggs and t.p.
There'll be much trick-or-treating
And candy for eating -
As long as it's wrapped properly!
It's the most frightening time of the year.
But halfway through November,
You'll stop and remember
The fun, not the fear.
It's the most frightening time
It's the most frightening time
It's the most frightening time
Of the year!
It's the Most Frightening Time of the Year
It's the most frightening time of the year,
With the goblins and witches
And faces with stitches
And pointy green ears.
It's the most frightening time of the year.
It's the bat flappin'-est season of all,
With the crawlies and creepies
That make you lose sleep as
You stare at the wall.
It's the bat flappin'-est season of all.
There'll be mazes for haunting
And neighbors for taunting
With shaving cream, eggs and t.p.
There'll be much trick-or-treating
And candy for eating -
As long as it's wrapped properly!
It's the most frightening time of the year.
But halfway through November,
You'll stop and remember
The fun, not the fear.
It's the most frightening time
It's the most frightening time
It's the most frightening time
Of the year!
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Turkish Delight (O Holy Night, Adolphe Adam / Placide Cappeau / John Sullivan Dwight)
Last year, the big Christmastime movie event was The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and as December quickly approaches again, I can't help but think of Narnia once more. This one's in Edmund Pevensie's voice to the tune of O Holy Night.
Turkish Delight
Turkish delight, so tasty and enticing.
It is the jewel of this Narnian north.
Soon will the queen, her sledge so swiftly slicing
Through sparkling snow, bring the prized sweeties forth?
She will, I hope, though I am disappointed
That I must take my siblings to her throne.
I would be pleased if I could be anointed.
Oh, I'd do fine if I ruled on my own,
And I'd eat Turkish delight, that treat divine!
Lucy was right, but I must do some scheming.
They mustn't know I've seen her magic land.
I'll make them think that she was merely dreaming.
Yes, I am wise, and I have it all planned.
And who is she, cavorting with a stranger
With fur and hooves who claims to be her friend?
I wouldn't heed his words, but I can't change her.
I'd scold that thing she's so quick to defend,
And I'd eat Turkish delight, that treat divine!
Susan is not - and never will be - Mother.
I wish she'd go off and leave me in peace.
Peter is worse, a nagging older brother
Whose criticisms of me never cease.
So I'm the boy who will say Lucy's crazy
Until a "Prince" is added to my name.
I'm cold and sore. My thoughts are getting hazy,
But that wardrobe door's the entry to my fame,
And I'll eat Turkish delight, that treat divine!
Turkish Delight
Turkish delight, so tasty and enticing.
It is the jewel of this Narnian north.
Soon will the queen, her sledge so swiftly slicing
Through sparkling snow, bring the prized sweeties forth?
She will, I hope, though I am disappointed
That I must take my siblings to her throne.
I would be pleased if I could be anointed.
Oh, I'd do fine if I ruled on my own,
And I'd eat Turkish delight, that treat divine!
Lucy was right, but I must do some scheming.
They mustn't know I've seen her magic land.
I'll make them think that she was merely dreaming.
Yes, I am wise, and I have it all planned.
And who is she, cavorting with a stranger
With fur and hooves who claims to be her friend?
I wouldn't heed his words, but I can't change her.
I'd scold that thing she's so quick to defend,
And I'd eat Turkish delight, that treat divine!
Susan is not - and never will be - Mother.
I wish she'd go off and leave me in peace.
Peter is worse, a nagging older brother
Whose criticisms of me never cease.
So I'm the boy who will say Lucy's crazy
Until a "Prince" is added to my name.
I'm cold and sore. My thoughts are getting hazy,
But that wardrobe door's the entry to my fame,
And I'll eat Turkish delight, that treat divine!
Friday, November 10, 2006
Harry, Don't Let Fleur's Sister Drown (Santa Claus is Comin' to Town, J. Fred Coots / Haven Gillespie)
Here's a parody about a climactic moment in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, to the tune of Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. Which reminds me, I really need to see that movie...
Harry, Don't Let Fleur's Sister Drown
It's task number two,
And no one knows why
The goblet chose you,
But you've got to try.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
You're swimming so well.
You're winning the race.
It's easy to tell
You're bound for first place.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
We know she's been annoying,
A bit of a French flake,
But in your heart you know you should
Save her sister from this lake.
Although you are chilled
And probably numb,
Just think of how thrilled
She'll be when you come.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
You might sacrifice
A minute or two,
But since you're so nice,
It's what you must do.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
And Fleur will be so grateful,
She'll lighten up, you'll see.
She won't be rude and hateful now,
And she'll fall for Bill Weasley.
Oh, it's task number two,
And no one knows why
The goblet chose you,
But you've got to try.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
Harry, Don't Let Fleur's Sister Drown
It's task number two,
And no one knows why
The goblet chose you,
But you've got to try.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
You're swimming so well.
You're winning the race.
It's easy to tell
You're bound for first place.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
We know she's been annoying,
A bit of a French flake,
But in your heart you know you should
Save her sister from this lake.
Although you are chilled
And probably numb,
Just think of how thrilled
She'll be when you come.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
You might sacrifice
A minute or two,
But since you're so nice,
It's what you must do.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
And Fleur will be so grateful,
She'll lighten up, you'll see.
She won't be rude and hateful now,
And she'll fall for Bill Weasley.
Oh, it's task number two,
And no one knows why
The goblet chose you,
But you've got to try.
Harry, don't let Fleur's sister drown.
Wednesday, November 8, 2006
Rockin' With My Buddies in the Band (Winter Wonderland, Felix Bernard / Richard Smith)
I'm sliding into Christmas mode here, so I'll probably be posting a lot of carol parodies for a while... This one's to Winter Wonderland and in the voice of Nick from Freaks and Geeks, circa the episode I'm With the Band.
Rockin' With My Buddies in the Band
Lindsay, hey, won'tcha listen
When we play? If we're missin'
A note here and there,
I really don't care,
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Well, I don't say this proudly,
But my mind's kinda cloudy.
It never seems clear
Except when I'm here
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Lindsay, you are such a stunning woman.
Very soon I'm gonna write a song
Just to prove how much I care for you, man,
And I will sing it to you all day long.
I will never get tired
Of this kit. I'm inspired
By all twenty-nine
Of these drums of mine,
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
I could play a solo like John Bonham
If Dad wasn't shouting, "Keep it down!"
I'm afraid he'll someday try to pawn 'em,
These drums that make the most fantastic sound.
Nothin' feels so fulfillin',
So I'm really unwillin'
To give 'em up now.
I'll make it somehow,
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Rockin' With My Buddies in the Band
Lindsay, hey, won'tcha listen
When we play? If we're missin'
A note here and there,
I really don't care,
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Well, I don't say this proudly,
But my mind's kinda cloudy.
It never seems clear
Except when I'm here
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Lindsay, you are such a stunning woman.
Very soon I'm gonna write a song
Just to prove how much I care for you, man,
And I will sing it to you all day long.
I will never get tired
Of this kit. I'm inspired
By all twenty-nine
Of these drums of mine,
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
I could play a solo like John Bonham
If Dad wasn't shouting, "Keep it down!"
I'm afraid he'll someday try to pawn 'em,
These drums that make the most fantastic sound.
Nothin' feels so fulfillin',
So I'm really unwillin'
To give 'em up now.
I'll make it somehow,
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Rockin' with my buddies in the band.
Tuesday, November 7, 2006
Lionel (Silver Bells, Jay Livingston / Ray Evans)
Here is yet another Smallville parody, to the tune Silver Bells, which was once my favorite Christmas carol and still ranks pretty high. No particular moment correlates with this one, but sometime before the end of season three.
Lionel
You have black locks,
And Lex lacks locks,
But he echoes your style
With his suits that convey elite crispness.
You are passing
On your lasting
Legacy of great guile.
You're creating a villain to fear.
Lionel, Lionel.
Your life of crime is a pity.
You have been stained by sin,
And it will haunt you someday.
If he knew right,
He could do right,
But so far all he's seen
From his father is vice without measure.
It is my hunch
You've a big bunch
Of regret, so come clean.
You're a broken man under that sneer.
Lionel, Lionel.
Your life of crime is a pity.
You have been stained by sin,
And it will haunt you someday.
Lionel
You have black locks,
And Lex lacks locks,
But he echoes your style
With his suits that convey elite crispness.
You are passing
On your lasting
Legacy of great guile.
You're creating a villain to fear.
Lionel, Lionel.
Your life of crime is a pity.
You have been stained by sin,
And it will haunt you someday.
If he knew right,
He could do right,
But so far all he's seen
From his father is vice without measure.
It is my hunch
You've a big bunch
Of regret, so come clean.
You're a broken man under that sneer.
Lionel, Lionel.
Your life of crime is a pity.
You have been stained by sin,
And it will haunt you someday.
Monday, November 6, 2006
Nottingham (Nowhere Man, John Lennon / Paul McCartney)
Yay for Robin Hood! Here's a parody of Nowhere Man about the Sheriff of Nottingham.
Nottingham
Sheriff of Nottingham,
You are such a naughty man,
Making all your naughty plans for Robin Hood.
Everyone despises you.
Your real friends are very few.
Is it worth it to be rude and mean?
Nottingham, it's no good
Waging battles in Sherwood.
Nottingham, watch out for his merry band!
He's as sly as he can be,
Blending in with every tree,
Shooting arrows expertly. You'll fall.
Nottingham, don't tarry
In the woods. Be wary.
Let him be, and leave Sherwood as fast as you can.
Everyone despises you.
Your real friends are very few.
Is it worth it to be rude and mean?
Nottingham, it's no good
Waging battles in Sherwood.
Nottingham, watch out for his merry band!
Sheriff of Nottingham,
You are such a naughty man,
Making all your naughty plans for Robin Hood.
Making all your naughty plans for Robin Hood.
Making all your naughty plans for Robin Hood.
Nottingham
Sheriff of Nottingham,
You are such a naughty man,
Making all your naughty plans for Robin Hood.
Everyone despises you.
Your real friends are very few.
Is it worth it to be rude and mean?
Nottingham, it's no good
Waging battles in Sherwood.
Nottingham, watch out for his merry band!
He's as sly as he can be,
Blending in with every tree,
Shooting arrows expertly. You'll fall.
Nottingham, don't tarry
In the woods. Be wary.
Let him be, and leave Sherwood as fast as you can.
Everyone despises you.
Your real friends are very few.
Is it worth it to be rude and mean?
Nottingham, it's no good
Waging battles in Sherwood.
Nottingham, watch out for his merry band!
Sheriff of Nottingham,
You are such a naughty man,
Making all your naughty plans for Robin Hood.
Making all your naughty plans for Robin Hood.
Making all your naughty plans for Robin Hood.
Love to Boo (Love Me Do, Paul McCartney / John Lennon)
The other day, I blazed through seven episodes of The Muppet Show while putting together a particularly tricky haunted house puzzle, so I have the Muppets on the brain even more than usual. Here's a tribute to the always ornery Statler and Waldorf to the tune of Love Me Do.
Love to Boo
We love to boo.
A scathing review
Will come right on cue
Cuz we love to boo.
Oh, love to boo...
We love to boo.
Our chuckles are few.
We have a great view,
But we sit and stew.
We love to boo.
Drippy and dumb,
Fit for a fool.
Having to watch
This show is cruel!
We love to boo.
That bear has no clue.
The frog's stupid too,
And we ought to sue.
We love to boo.
We love to boo.
Oh, it's nothing new.
It's just what we do.
Cuz we love to boo.
Oh, love to boo.
We love to boo.
Oh, love to boo...
Love to Boo
We love to boo.
A scathing review
Will come right on cue
Cuz we love to boo.
Oh, love to boo...
We love to boo.
Our chuckles are few.
We have a great view,
But we sit and stew.
We love to boo.
Drippy and dumb,
Fit for a fool.
Having to watch
This show is cruel!
We love to boo.
That bear has no clue.
The frog's stupid too,
And we ought to sue.
We love to boo.
We love to boo.
Oh, it's nothing new.
It's just what we do.
Cuz we love to boo.
Oh, love to boo.
We love to boo.
Oh, love to boo...
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Henry's Dog Ribsy (Eleanor Rigby, Paul McCartney / John Lennon)
Here is a little ode to Henry Huggins' lovable mutt, inspired by my good friend Beth's review of Ribsy and to the tune of Eleanor Rigby.
Henry's Dog Ribsy
Ah, he's a lonely little mongrel.
Ah, he's a lonely little mongrel.
Henry's dog Ribsy
Thinks it is nice when the fleas that torment him are gone.
Collar's not on.
Jumps out the window,
Barking at some other dog who's behind a locked door
Till his throat's sore.
Lonely little mongrel.
Why must he rove and roam?
Lonely little mongrel.
He just wants to go home.
Ribsy's boy Henry
Calling his name in a voice that's familiar and clear.
Ribsy can't hear.
Nothing is working.
He remains missing though Henry has searched everywhere.
Ribsy's not there.
Lonely little mongrel.
Why must he rove and roam?
Lonely little mongrel.
He just wants to go home.
Ah, he's a lonely little mongrel.
Ah, he's a lonely little mongrel.
Henry's dog Ribsy
Met with some very nice folks and acquired a new name,
But all the same
Ribsy's boy Henry
Really is who that poor dog has been dying to see.
Where could he be?
Lonely little mongrel.
Why must he rove and roam?
Lonely little mongrel.
He just wants to go home.
Henry's Dog Ribsy
Ah, he's a lonely little mongrel.
Ah, he's a lonely little mongrel.
Henry's dog Ribsy
Thinks it is nice when the fleas that torment him are gone.
Collar's not on.
Jumps out the window,
Barking at some other dog who's behind a locked door
Till his throat's sore.
Lonely little mongrel.
Why must he rove and roam?
Lonely little mongrel.
He just wants to go home.
Ribsy's boy Henry
Calling his name in a voice that's familiar and clear.
Ribsy can't hear.
Nothing is working.
He remains missing though Henry has searched everywhere.
Ribsy's not there.
Lonely little mongrel.
Why must he rove and roam?
Lonely little mongrel.
He just wants to go home.
Ah, he's a lonely little mongrel.
Ah, he's a lonely little mongrel.
Henry's dog Ribsy
Met with some very nice folks and acquired a new name,
But all the same
Ribsy's boy Henry
Really is who that poor dog has been dying to see.
Where could he be?
Lonely little mongrel.
Why must he rove and roam?
Lonely little mongrel.
He just wants to go home.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Wicket (Do Wah Diddy Diddy, Jeff Barry / Ellie Greenwich)
I wrote this parody last night after it occurred to me that I hadn't written any about Star Wars. So here is a tribute to my favorite Ewok to the tune of Do Wah Diddy Diddy.
Wicket
Wicket is an Ewok I'd like to meet.
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
Furry and cute from his head to his feet.
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
His heart's good (heart's good), but his mind (his mind)...
His heart's good, but his mind is a little unrefined.
He worships droids and he resides up in a tree.
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
He's a bit jumpy but full of loyalty.
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
Well, he lives (he lives) on Endor (Endor).
Yeah, he lives on Endor far above the forest floor.
Oh, Wicket's an Ewok I love.
Yes he is, and his intrepid tribe is one I'd like to be part of.
He may not understand too much of what I say.
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
But he'd gladly chase my enemies away.
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
He's short (he's short); that's fine (that's fine).
He's short; that's fine. Think of all the trees we'd climb!
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
Itty bitty little guy fond of food.
Itty bitty little guy fond of food...
Wicket
Wicket is an Ewok I'd like to meet.
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
Furry and cute from his head to his feet.
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
His heart's good (heart's good), but his mind (his mind)...
His heart's good, but his mind is a little unrefined.
He worships droids and he resides up in a tree.
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
He's a bit jumpy but full of loyalty.
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
Well, he lives (he lives) on Endor (Endor).
Yeah, he lives on Endor far above the forest floor.
Oh, Wicket's an Ewok I love.
Yes he is, and his intrepid tribe is one I'd like to be part of.
He may not understand too much of what I say.
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
But he'd gladly chase my enemies away.
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
He's short (he's short); that's fine (that's fine).
He's short; that's fine. Think of all the trees we'd climb!
He's an itty bitty little guy fond of food.
Itty bitty little guy fond of food.
Itty bitty little guy fond of food...
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
I Guess I'd Rather Be in Colorado (I Guess He'd Rather Be In Colorado, Bill Danoff / Taffy Navert)
Thursday is the ninth anniversary of John Denver's death, and as in years past, fans will make a pilgrimage to celebrate his life and music and the causes he stood for. I've got my heart set on going next year... We'll see how that goes. But for this year, I can only say I'm with them in spirit. To the tune of I Guess He'd Rather Be in Colorado...
I Guess I'd Rather Be in Colorado
I guess I'd rather be in Colorado.
I'd rather spend the twelfth out with a host of kindred souls who bless his name.
It's a shame I'm here in Erie.
It's a shame the weather's dreary
When the sky that day was clearer than a cowbell.
I guess I'd rather be in Colorado.
I'd rather write my poems on a dew-kissed mountain warmed by rays of sun
Where the one whose songs have touched me,
Where the one who gave so much
Became a man whose words are known the whole world over.
I guess I'd rather be in Colorado.
I guess I'd rather be in Colorado.
I guess I'd rather fly out to the state that gave a high to my old friend
Whose swift end was cruel and shocking,
Whose swift end was coolly mocked
By those who'll never see that he was here to help us.
I Guess I'd Rather Be in Colorado
I guess I'd rather be in Colorado.
I'd rather spend the twelfth out with a host of kindred souls who bless his name.
It's a shame I'm here in Erie.
It's a shame the weather's dreary
When the sky that day was clearer than a cowbell.
I guess I'd rather be in Colorado.
I'd rather write my poems on a dew-kissed mountain warmed by rays of sun
Where the one whose songs have touched me,
Where the one who gave so much
Became a man whose words are known the whole world over.
I guess I'd rather be in Colorado.
I guess I'd rather be in Colorado.
I guess I'd rather fly out to the state that gave a high to my old friend
Whose swift end was cruel and shocking,
Whose swift end was coolly mocked
By those who'll never see that he was here to help us.
Monday, October 9, 2006
Clark's Song (Kathy's Song, Paul Simon)
Chloe wound up being my favorite character in the fourth season of Smallville, and I especially loved the episode Blank, so here's a little reflection by her midway through the episode, to the tune of Kathy's Song.
Clark's Song
I see that someone fried your brain.
Who am I? You can't recall.
Your mind is a vacant thing,
Empty as this town is small.
So I hope that you don't mind,
But I thought it would be wise
To guide you safely through the streets
While you gaze with glassy eyes.
It's strange to see you so confused.
I never thought that I one day
Would have to tell Clark Kent the deep
Dark secret he would not relay.
I'm amazed when I think of the things you've done.
It makes me sad to know that I'm
Someone you had to deceive.
Please put your trust in me this time.
Although I know you have come to doubt
That your friends' intents are true,
I'm on your side, so please believe
I always will look out for you.
I don't know what's inside your brain,
Locked away where none can pry;
I only hope I will remain
Part of you that you cannot deny.
Clark's Song
I see that someone fried your brain.
Who am I? You can't recall.
Your mind is a vacant thing,
Empty as this town is small.
So I hope that you don't mind,
But I thought it would be wise
To guide you safely through the streets
While you gaze with glassy eyes.
It's strange to see you so confused.
I never thought that I one day
Would have to tell Clark Kent the deep
Dark secret he would not relay.
I'm amazed when I think of the things you've done.
It makes me sad to know that I'm
Someone you had to deceive.
Please put your trust in me this time.
Although I know you have come to doubt
That your friends' intents are true,
I'm on your side, so please believe
I always will look out for you.
I don't know what's inside your brain,
Locked away where none can pry;
I only hope I will remain
Part of you that you cannot deny.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Martha
Martha
Martha is a marvelous
homemaker,
The keeper of an always cozy
house,
An extraordinary cookie
baker,
An utterly impressive mom and
spouse.
Martha’s made her home a
sanctuary,
A formidable fortress of a
farm
Where those of ill intentions
dare not tarry.
She will not let her family
come to harm.
Her son has grown to be a man
of merit
Possessing skills she cannot
understand.
Yet her compassion was his to
inherit
When she tenderly took his
tiny hands.
His origins, his blood give
him his power,
But strength developed
underneath her gaze.
Since that grim day of the
meteor shower,
They've saved each other in
so many ways.
Devoted to the husband who
adores her
And to the son they've
nurtured as their own,
She doesn't know what dangers
lie in store for
The boy alien to his very
bone.
But Martha's earned the name
that she was given,
Exhibiting great faith and
fortitude.
She's made her home a perfect
one to live in
With comforts far beyond mere
warmth and food.
She taught the teen whose
hands have lifted boulders,
And she's the one he always
will turn to
While carrying the town upon
his shoulders,
For Martha is a Martha through
and through.
Friday, September 22, 2006
I Came Here From Space (Looking for Space, John Denver)
John Denver's soul-searching anthem Looking for Space reminds me of Superman, so here's a parody circa the events of Superman Returns.
I Came Here From Space
I am growing experienced in trying to save the day,
Bringing truth, justice and this country's way.
I continue improving, driven by my goodwill,
Thwarting those who would seek to harm and kill.
Cuz I came here from space,
And they call me Superman.
Jor-El said that I'm part of a great plan.
Though it sometimes seems
That my life is unfair,
I'm bringing hope to the people
Each time I take to the air.
I have traveled the universe, hoping that I would see
Indications of what I'm meant to be.
Lost until I re-entered Earth's heavy atmosphere,
I heard its citizens crying out for me.
Cuz I came here from space,
And they call me Superman.
Jor-El said that I'm part of a great plan.
Though it sometimes seems
That my life is unfair,
I'm bringing hope to the people
Each time I take to the air.
I am growing experienced listening as they pray.
I hear them whisper, "He's back, and I hope he'll stay. I hope he'll stay.
Cuz he came here from space,
And I sure am glad he came,
Though I can't even say I know his name."
Though it oftentimes seems
That my life is unfair,
I'm bringing hope to the people
Each time I take to the air.
I'm bringing hope to the people,
To the people
When I'm flying high...
I Came Here From Space
I am growing experienced in trying to save the day,
Bringing truth, justice and this country's way.
I continue improving, driven by my goodwill,
Thwarting those who would seek to harm and kill.
Cuz I came here from space,
And they call me Superman.
Jor-El said that I'm part of a great plan.
Though it sometimes seems
That my life is unfair,
I'm bringing hope to the people
Each time I take to the air.
I have traveled the universe, hoping that I would see
Indications of what I'm meant to be.
Lost until I re-entered Earth's heavy atmosphere,
I heard its citizens crying out for me.
Cuz I came here from space,
And they call me Superman.
Jor-El said that I'm part of a great plan.
Though it sometimes seems
That my life is unfair,
I'm bringing hope to the people
Each time I take to the air.
I am growing experienced listening as they pray.
I hear them whisper, "He's back, and I hope he'll stay. I hope he'll stay.
Cuz he came here from space,
And I sure am glad he came,
Though I can't even say I know his name."
Though it oftentimes seems
That my life is unfair,
I'm bringing hope to the people
Each time I take to the air.
I'm bringing hope to the people,
To the people
When I'm flying high...
Thursday, September 7, 2006
Rocks That Are Green (Leaves That Are Green, Paul Simon)
Finally, here's something about Clark Kent from his perspective. This one goes way back to the first episode of Smallville and is to the tune of Leaves That Are Green.
Rocks That Are Green
I have felt like an outsider for so long,
And now it turns out that my hunch wasn't wrong.
I'm feeling down.
There are rocks that are green in this town,
And I'm flimsy as the wind
When I hold them in my hand.
Now my heart is filled with the love of a girl.
I can't get close, though, for at the very sight
Of her necklace I turn white.
There are rocks that are green in this town,
And I'm flimsy as the wind
When I hold them in my hand.
I'm shaken up because I took
The roof off Lex's car today.
Without me, he would have drowned.
There are rocks that are green in this town,
And I'm flimsy as the wind
When I hold them in my hand.
How far will these strange powers go?
I'd rather be a normal guy.
That's all I want.
There are rocks that are green in this town,
And I'm flimsy as the wind
When I hold them in my hand.
Rocks That Are Green
I have felt like an outsider for so long,
And now it turns out that my hunch wasn't wrong.
I'm feeling down.
There are rocks that are green in this town,
And I'm flimsy as the wind
When I hold them in my hand.
Now my heart is filled with the love of a girl.
I can't get close, though, for at the very sight
Of her necklace I turn white.
There are rocks that are green in this town,
And I'm flimsy as the wind
When I hold them in my hand.
I'm shaken up because I took
The roof off Lex's car today.
Without me, he would have drowned.
There are rocks that are green in this town,
And I'm flimsy as the wind
When I hold them in my hand.
How far will these strange powers go?
I'd rather be a normal guy.
That's all I want.
There are rocks that are green in this town,
And I'm flimsy as the wind
When I hold them in my hand.
Monday, September 4, 2006
The Kids (The Kid, Buddy Mondlock)
I'm a big fan of A Series of Unfortunate Events, and I can't wait to see how Daniel Handler wraps up the series. Like Smallville, the series explores the sometimes tenuous line between heroism and villainy. Does the end always justify the means? And can one do bad things for a good reason without starting to do bad things for bad reasons? The Baudelaires are increasingly forced to do unscrupulous things in the name of self-preservation, and as unfortunate as it would be for the children to remain Count Olaf's captives indefinitely, it would be worse if they turned to villainy themselves... Anyway, here are some ruminations in the voice of Violet to the tune of The Kid.
The Kids
We're the kids whose guardians often work us
Far too hard. Our intelligence
Helps us sometimes, but Count Olaf has caught us,
And his crimes make us quake in fright.
Sunny bites. She is getting big now.
Time's flown so quickly since that fire.
Books that Klaus reads and inventions of mine
Bail us out when our need's dire.
We're the kids who almost fell out a window,
Staved off beasts and lobotomies,
Sawed through lumber and ran laps in a schoolyard.
We watched Count Olaf take our friends.
It's been months now, and we are so tired
Of all these trials and pitfalls.
Olaf's costumes are unconvincing.
Why can't the others see through them all?
We're the kids who thought our troubles were over
When we silenced those wedding bells.
Though we were talking, those adults just weren't listening,
So we have tales of woe to tell.
Mr. Poe is unfit for his station.
We are deeply disdainful.
We always try so hard to make him change his mind.
His obtuseness is painful.
We're the kids who have this habit of scheming,
And we hate what we have to do,
Cuz the truth is that the more we keep scheming,
The more we become villains too.
The Kids
We're the kids whose guardians often work us
Far too hard. Our intelligence
Helps us sometimes, but Count Olaf has caught us,
And his crimes make us quake in fright.
Sunny bites. She is getting big now.
Time's flown so quickly since that fire.
Books that Klaus reads and inventions of mine
Bail us out when our need's dire.
We're the kids who almost fell out a window,
Staved off beasts and lobotomies,
Sawed through lumber and ran laps in a schoolyard.
We watched Count Olaf take our friends.
It's been months now, and we are so tired
Of all these trials and pitfalls.
Olaf's costumes are unconvincing.
Why can't the others see through them all?
We're the kids who thought our troubles were over
When we silenced those wedding bells.
Though we were talking, those adults just weren't listening,
So we have tales of woe to tell.
Mr. Poe is unfit for his station.
We are deeply disdainful.
We always try so hard to make him change his mind.
His obtuseness is painful.
We're the kids who have this habit of scheming,
And we hate what we have to do,
Cuz the truth is that the more we keep scheming,
The more we become villains too.
Daniel Desario (Daniel, Elton John / Bernie Taupin)
Here's a parody about one of my favorite TV shows, the sadly cancelled Freaks and Geeks. Though this thread was quickly dropped, in the first couple episodes Lindsay seems to have a pretty big crush on Daniel, who is nice to her but really isn't her type. This parody of Daniel is set midway through the second episode.
Daniel Desario
Daniel Desario's kind of a pain.
I don't want this bash tonight. I think it's sort of insane,
Oh, but how could I turn down those gorgeous eyes?
Oh, look out for Daniel, cuz he is one shifty guy.
Does he think I'm pretty? Perhaps it's a sin
To love a guy who is just as cavalier as James Dean,
Oh, but I just can't look at him enough.
Should I kiss Daniel? Want to kiss him so much...
Daniel Desario, you're older than me.
I think you have no shame, cuz you lie, cheat and steal.
Although I've tried to kiss this crush goodbye,
Daniel, I'm in love. I can't figure out why...
Daniel Desario's kind of a pain.
I don't want this bash tonight. I think it's sort of insane,
Oh, but how could I turn down those gorgeous eyes?
Oh, look out for Daniel, cuz he is one shifty guy.
Oh, yes, look out for Daniel, cuz he is one shifty guy.
Daniel Desario
Daniel Desario's kind of a pain.
I don't want this bash tonight. I think it's sort of insane,
Oh, but how could I turn down those gorgeous eyes?
Oh, look out for Daniel, cuz he is one shifty guy.
Does he think I'm pretty? Perhaps it's a sin
To love a guy who is just as cavalier as James Dean,
Oh, but I just can't look at him enough.
Should I kiss Daniel? Want to kiss him so much...
Daniel Desario, you're older than me.
I think you have no shame, cuz you lie, cheat and steal.
Although I've tried to kiss this crush goodbye,
Daniel, I'm in love. I can't figure out why...
Daniel Desario's kind of a pain.
I don't want this bash tonight. I think it's sort of insane,
Oh, but how could I turn down those gorgeous eyes?
Oh, look out for Daniel, cuz he is one shifty guy.
Oh, yes, look out for Daniel, cuz he is one shifty guy.
Friday, September 1, 2006
He's a Villain (Rhymes and Reasons, John Denver)
Here's another parody about Lex Luthor, pertaining specifically to the episode Shattered in the third season and to the tune of Rhymes and Reasons.
He's a Villain
So you speak to me of madness,
And you claim my mind is splintered.
Fear is deep within you now
That I'm at my wit's end.
And it seems I must escape you
If you think that I've turned rotten,
But in truth, I really need you now.
Don't you know you're my best friend?
And that place Dad wants me going...
It's a crime! Yes, it is treason!
I'd go after him except
Then I fear I would begin
To be a cold, unfeeling villain
With an endless lust for power just like him.
He's a villain, and his power
Never made him a good father.
My life was filled with loneliness
Until that fateful day
I met you. I never doubted
He would always cause me pain, so
If you care about my future,
Don't let him put me away.
Well, I know my world would crumble
If my father's cronies found us.
It's hard to sit here waiting
When I know they're after me!
Oh, he thinks that he's so clever,
And he's sure he can deceive us,
But you've known right from the start
The sort of man he'll always be.
He has never been worth trusting;
Clark, I'm certain you can see
He's a villain. All his power
Never made him a good father.
My life was filled with loneliness
Until that fateful day
That you saved me. Now I'm clinging
To the hope that you believe me.
Please don't let him find us.
Save my life again today.
He's a Villain
So you speak to me of madness,
And you claim my mind is splintered.
Fear is deep within you now
That I'm at my wit's end.
And it seems I must escape you
If you think that I've turned rotten,
But in truth, I really need you now.
Don't you know you're my best friend?
And that place Dad wants me going...
It's a crime! Yes, it is treason!
I'd go after him except
Then I fear I would begin
To be a cold, unfeeling villain
With an endless lust for power just like him.
He's a villain, and his power
Never made him a good father.
My life was filled with loneliness
Until that fateful day
I met you. I never doubted
He would always cause me pain, so
If you care about my future,
Don't let him put me away.
Well, I know my world would crumble
If my father's cronies found us.
It's hard to sit here waiting
When I know they're after me!
Oh, he thinks that he's so clever,
And he's sure he can deceive us,
But you've known right from the start
The sort of man he'll always be.
He has never been worth trusting;
Clark, I'm certain you can see
He's a villain. All his power
Never made him a good father.
My life was filled with loneliness
Until that fateful day
That you saved me. Now I'm clinging
To the hope that you believe me.
Please don't let him find us.
Save my life again today.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
How Could I Let That Walleye Go? (All I Know, Jimmy Webb)
It's a sad fact of life that the biggest fish always seem to get away, and always when nobody's watching... Here's one for the fishermen, to the tune of All I Know.
How Could I Let That Walleye Go?
I pulled him, he pulled me.
Pulled a bit too hard and he,
He got caught in the undertow...
How could I let that walleye go?
No one will believe it's true
That fish was as strong as two,
So strong I have no prize to show.
How could I let that walleye go?
When the fish is gone, let the tale live on...
In the tournament, I'll come in last,
Maybe snag a small-mouth bass.
I'll wonder, dreaming of my fell foe,
"How could I let that walleye go?"
When the fish is gone, let the tale live on.
Had a fine time sitting in that boat since dawn,
And if they had seen us fight, how my friends would fawn.
In the tournament, I'll come in last,
Maybe snag a small-mouth bass.
I'll wonder, dreaming of my fell foe,
"How could I let that walleye go,
That walleye go, that walleye go..."
How Could I Let That Walleye Go?
I pulled him, he pulled me.
Pulled a bit too hard and he,
He got caught in the undertow...
How could I let that walleye go?
No one will believe it's true
That fish was as strong as two,
So strong I have no prize to show.
How could I let that walleye go?
When the fish is gone, let the tale live on...
In the tournament, I'll come in last,
Maybe snag a small-mouth bass.
I'll wonder, dreaming of my fell foe,
"How could I let that walleye go?"
When the fish is gone, let the tale live on.
Had a fine time sitting in that boat since dawn,
And if they had seen us fight, how my friends would fawn.
In the tournament, I'll come in last,
Maybe snag a small-mouth bass.
I'll wonder, dreaming of my fell foe,
"How could I let that walleye go,
That walleye go, that walleye go..."
Meet the Nerds (Feed the Birds, Robert and Richard Sherman)
Here's a combination of two of my favorite things: Mary Poppins (Feed the Birds in particular) and Star Trek!
Meet the Nerds
Late in the day, the convention is still
A-bustle with Trekkers galore.
They have come a long way in the hopes that they will
Meet with the crew they adore.
Some of the little nerds
Clutch teddy bears
Wearing a uniform shirt.
They've practiced the Vulcan
Salute with great care.
Have a heart. Don't treat them like dirt.
Meet the nerds, Leonard Nimoy
And Bill Shatner. Don't be annoyed.
Meet the nerds, poor geeky guys
With pointy ears and visor-clad eyes.
All around the convention the red-shirts and Klingons
Line up just to shake your hands.
Please don't try to flee it.
Keep signing and smiling.
It means everything to those fans.
Though you hate when they question you
On things of which you haven't a clue,
Meet the nerds, Leonard Nimoy
And Bill Shatner. Don't be annoyed.
Though you hate when they question you
On things of which you haven't a clue,
Meet the nerds, Leonard Nimoy
And Bill Shatner. Don't be annoyed.
Meet the Nerds
Late in the day, the convention is still
A-bustle with Trekkers galore.
They have come a long way in the hopes that they will
Meet with the crew they adore.
Some of the little nerds
Clutch teddy bears
Wearing a uniform shirt.
They've practiced the Vulcan
Salute with great care.
Have a heart. Don't treat them like dirt.
Meet the nerds, Leonard Nimoy
And Bill Shatner. Don't be annoyed.
Meet the nerds, poor geeky guys
With pointy ears and visor-clad eyes.
All around the convention the red-shirts and Klingons
Line up just to shake your hands.
Please don't try to flee it.
Keep signing and smiling.
It means everything to those fans.
Though you hate when they question you
On things of which you haven't a clue,
Meet the nerds, Leonard Nimoy
And Bill Shatner. Don't be annoyed.
Though you hate when they question you
On things of which you haven't a clue,
Meet the nerds, Leonard Nimoy
And Bill Shatner. Don't be annoyed.
Sullivan (Harrigan, George M. Cohan)
I finally started watching season four of Smallville, and I am pumped! Annoyingly, though, this is the season that marks the debut of Lois Lane. I like her cousin Chloe ever so much better. Why couldn't Clark fall for her instead? Here's a little rant by her, circa the end of season two, to the tune of Harrigan.
Sullivan
Who always bends over backwards to be your friend?
Sullivan, that's me!
Who is the gal wishing you would just get a clue?
Sullivan, that's me!
You frustrate me, Farm Boy. Why can't you see
I always will love you devotedly?
Who is in love with the flannel-clad superman?
Sullivan, that's me!
S - U - double L - I - V - A- N spells Sullivan.
Wishing someday you would really see me.
You're my best friend but I still think you're dreamy.
S - U - double L - I - V - A - N, you see.
It's a shame that my name's not the one that you dream about.
Sullivan, that's me!
Who is the girl getting chummy with Lionel?
Sullivan, that's me!
Who thinks that you have a secret that you won't tell?
Sullivan, that's me!
I'm curious, Clark, and can you blame me?
You're just as tight-lipped as a boy can be.
Who'd help a Luthor to investigate the truth?
Sullivan, that's me!
S - U - double L - I - V - A- N spells Sullivan.
Wishing someday you would really see me.
You're my best friend but I still think you're dreamy.
S - U - double L - I - V - A - N, you see.
It's a shame that my name's not the one that you dream about.
Sullivan, that's me!
Sullivan
Who always bends over backwards to be your friend?
Sullivan, that's me!
Who is the gal wishing you would just get a clue?
Sullivan, that's me!
You frustrate me, Farm Boy. Why can't you see
I always will love you devotedly?
Who is in love with the flannel-clad superman?
Sullivan, that's me!
S - U - double L - I - V - A- N spells Sullivan.
Wishing someday you would really see me.
You're my best friend but I still think you're dreamy.
S - U - double L - I - V - A - N, you see.
It's a shame that my name's not the one that you dream about.
Sullivan, that's me!
Who is the girl getting chummy with Lionel?
Sullivan, that's me!
Who thinks that you have a secret that you won't tell?
Sullivan, that's me!
I'm curious, Clark, and can you blame me?
You're just as tight-lipped as a boy can be.
Who'd help a Luthor to investigate the truth?
Sullivan, that's me!
S - U - double L - I - V - A- N spells Sullivan.
Wishing someday you would really see me.
You're my best friend but I still think you're dreamy.
S - U - double L - I - V - A - N, you see.
It's a shame that my name's not the one that you dream about.
Sullivan, that's me!
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Goin' to See Pooh (Goin' to the Zoo, Tom Paxton)
I actually managed to mention all ten major characters in this one. Here's one about Pooh and his friends to the tune of Goin' to the Zoo.
Goin' to See Pooh
Piglet's gonna go visit Pooh tomorrow,
Pooh tomorrow, Pooh tomorrow.
Piglet's gonna go visit Pooh tomorrow,
And they will play all day.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
They see grinning Tigger, his long tail bouncin',
Great big stripes and his long tail bouncin',
Only one like him with his long tail bouncin',
And they will play all day.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
Gopher's nearby and he's dig, dig, diggin',
Wearin' a helmet, dig, dig, diggin',
If they fall in that hole he's diggin',
Then they can't play all day!
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
There's a big black cloud over gloomy old Eeyore.
His tail is gone again, poor gloomy old Eeyore.
When they find it for gloomy old Eeyore,
Then they can play all day.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
Owl flies in the sky while yak, yak, yakkin',
Usin' big words and yak, yak, yakkin'
Soarin' over Rabbit, yak, yak, yakkin'
Until they sneak away.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
Well, they played all day, and Pooh's gettin' hungry.
Rumbly in his tumbly, he's hun, hun, hungry.
Wants some hunny cuz he's hun, hun, hungry.
He asks his friend to stay.
He went to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
So did Roo, Roo, Roo.
Kanga too, too, too.
They went to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
Christopher is off to see Pooh tomorrow,
Pooh tomorrow, Pooh tomorrow.
Christopher is off to see Pooh tomorrow,
And they can play all day.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
Goin' to See Pooh
Piglet's gonna go visit Pooh tomorrow,
Pooh tomorrow, Pooh tomorrow.
Piglet's gonna go visit Pooh tomorrow,
And they will play all day.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
They see grinning Tigger, his long tail bouncin',
Great big stripes and his long tail bouncin',
Only one like him with his long tail bouncin',
And they will play all day.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
Gopher's nearby and he's dig, dig, diggin',
Wearin' a helmet, dig, dig, diggin',
If they fall in that hole he's diggin',
Then they can't play all day!
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
There's a big black cloud over gloomy old Eeyore.
His tail is gone again, poor gloomy old Eeyore.
When they find it for gloomy old Eeyore,
Then they can play all day.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
Owl flies in the sky while yak, yak, yakkin',
Usin' big words and yak, yak, yakkin'
Soarin' over Rabbit, yak, yak, yakkin'
Until they sneak away.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
Well, they played all day, and Pooh's gettin' hungry.
Rumbly in his tumbly, he's hun, hun, hungry.
Wants some hunny cuz he's hun, hun, hungry.
He asks his friend to stay.
He went to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
So did Roo, Roo, Roo.
Kanga too, too, too.
They went to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
Christopher is off to see Pooh tomorrow,
Pooh tomorrow, Pooh tomorrow.
Christopher is off to see Pooh tomorrow,
And they can play all day.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh,
And Kanga and Roo, Roo, Roo
Might stop over too, too, too.
He's goin' to see Pooh, Pooh, Pooh.
The Neverland Carol (The Cherry Tree Carol, Traditional)
Here's another parody about Peter Pan, to the tune of The Cherry Tree Carol.
The Neverland Carol
When Peter was a young man, a young man was he,
He came upon a fairy and flew across the sea.
He came upon a fairy and flew across the sea.
On the island where he landed - fair Neverland so green -
There were lost boys and pirates, and he remained a teen.
There were lost boys and pirates, and he remained a teen.
Then Wendy said to Peter, who had her beguiled,
"Peter, won't you come back with me? I cannot stay a child.
Peter, won't you come back with me? I cannot stay a child."
Then Peter flew in anger, in anger flew he.
"You can go ahead and grow up, but you won't be taking me!
You can go ahead and grow up, but you won't be taking me!"
Then up spoke little Tootles in evening's pale gloom,
"But I would like to have my own mother and a home.
But I would like to have my own mother and a home."
So he sprinkled them with dust. As they parted ways,
She said, "Remember, Peter, to come back for me someday!"
She said, "Remember, Peter, to come back for me someday!"
When Peter was a young man, a young man was he,
He came upon a fairy and flew across the sea.
He came upon a fairy and flew across the sea.
The Neverland Carol
When Peter was a young man, a young man was he,
He came upon a fairy and flew across the sea.
He came upon a fairy and flew across the sea.
On the island where he landed - fair Neverland so green -
There were lost boys and pirates, and he remained a teen.
There were lost boys and pirates, and he remained a teen.
Then Wendy said to Peter, who had her beguiled,
"Peter, won't you come back with me? I cannot stay a child.
Peter, won't you come back with me? I cannot stay a child."
Then Peter flew in anger, in anger flew he.
"You can go ahead and grow up, but you won't be taking me!
You can go ahead and grow up, but you won't be taking me!"
Then up spoke little Tootles in evening's pale gloom,
"But I would like to have my own mother and a home.
But I would like to have my own mother and a home."
So he sprinkled them with dust. As they parted ways,
She said, "Remember, Peter, to come back for me someday!"
She said, "Remember, Peter, to come back for me someday!"
When Peter was a young man, a young man was he,
He came upon a fairy and flew across the sea.
He came upon a fairy and flew across the sea.
Where Has All the Pipe-Weed Gone? (Where Have All the Flowers Gone, Pete Seeger / Joe Hickerson)
I wrote this one a while back and wasn't going to post it because, as you can see if you are familiar with Where Have All the Flowers Gone?, I didn't change much. But then I figured... Eh, why not?
Where Has All the Pipe-Weed Gone?
Where has all the pipe-weed gone, long time passing?
Where has all the pipe-weed gone, long time ago?
Where has all the pipe-weed gone?
Hobbits made smoke rings, one by one.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the hobbits gone, long time passing?
Where have all the hobbits gone, long time ago?
Where have all the hobbits gone?
Chased by Riders, every one.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the Riders gone, long time passing?
Where have all the Riders gone, long time ago?
Where have all the Riders gone?
Back to Sauron, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where's the Dark Lord Sauron gone, long time passing?
Where's the Dark Lord Sauron gone, long time ago?
Where's the Dark Lord Sauron gone?
He's an eye bright as the sun.
Oh, when will he ever learn?
Oh, when will he ever learn?
Where have all the sun's rays gone, long time passing?
Where have all the sun's rays gone, long time ago?
Where have all the sun's rays gone?
Gone to pipe-weed, every one.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where has all the pipe-weed gone, long time passing?
Where has all the pipe-weed gone, long time ago?
Where has all the pipe-weed gone?
Hobbits made smoke rings, one by one.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where Has All the Pipe-Weed Gone?
Where has all the pipe-weed gone, long time passing?
Where has all the pipe-weed gone, long time ago?
Where has all the pipe-weed gone?
Hobbits made smoke rings, one by one.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the hobbits gone, long time passing?
Where have all the hobbits gone, long time ago?
Where have all the hobbits gone?
Chased by Riders, every one.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the Riders gone, long time passing?
Where have all the Riders gone, long time ago?
Where have all the Riders gone?
Back to Sauron, every one
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where's the Dark Lord Sauron gone, long time passing?
Where's the Dark Lord Sauron gone, long time ago?
Where's the Dark Lord Sauron gone?
He's an eye bright as the sun.
Oh, when will he ever learn?
Oh, when will he ever learn?
Where have all the sun's rays gone, long time passing?
Where have all the sun's rays gone, long time ago?
Where have all the sun's rays gone?
Gone to pipe-weed, every one.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where has all the pipe-weed gone, long time passing?
Where has all the pipe-weed gone, long time ago?
Where has all the pipe-weed gone?
Hobbits made smoke rings, one by one.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Eeyore (My Girl, Smokey Robinson / Ronald White)
Here's a little ode to that perpetually gloomy, sometimes sardonic donkey who lives in the Hundred Acre Wood, to the tune of My Girl.
Eeyore
He's got rain clouds
On a sunny day.
When it's bright outside,
His world is cold and gray.
Well, I guess you'd say,
"Who's the one who feels this way?"
Eeyore. (Eeyore, Eeyore)
Talkin' 'bout Eeyore. (Eeyore)
He does not like honey.
He craves solitude,
And you would not be wrong
If you said he was rude.
Well, I guess you'd say,
"Who's the one who feels this way?"
Eeyore. (Eeyore, Eeyore)
Talkin' 'bout Eeyore. (Eeyore)
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Oooooh...
All he needs is thistles,
His tiny shack
And, whenever it falls off him,
The tail on his back.
Well, I guess you'd say,
"Who's the one who feels this way?"
Eeyore. (Eeyore, Eeyore)
Talkin' 'bout Eeyore. (Eeyore)
Talkin' 'bout Eeyore.
He's got rain clouds on a sunny day.
Poor Eeyore.
But I still love him anyway. He's Eeyore...
Eeyore
He's got rain clouds
On a sunny day.
When it's bright outside,
His world is cold and gray.
Well, I guess you'd say,
"Who's the one who feels this way?"
Eeyore. (Eeyore, Eeyore)
Talkin' 'bout Eeyore. (Eeyore)
He does not like honey.
He craves solitude,
And you would not be wrong
If you said he was rude.
Well, I guess you'd say,
"Who's the one who feels this way?"
Eeyore. (Eeyore, Eeyore)
Talkin' 'bout Eeyore. (Eeyore)
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Oooooh...
All he needs is thistles,
His tiny shack
And, whenever it falls off him,
The tail on his back.
Well, I guess you'd say,
"Who's the one who feels this way?"
Eeyore. (Eeyore, Eeyore)
Talkin' 'bout Eeyore. (Eeyore)
Talkin' 'bout Eeyore.
He's got rain clouds on a sunny day.
Poor Eeyore.
But I still love him anyway. He's Eeyore...
Monday, August 28, 2006
Little Maggie (Maggie May, Rod Stewart)
Does it ever occur to the Simpsons that they've been suspended in time for close to 20 years? What a curious situation... Here is an ode to the littlest Simpson from the perspective of Marge, to the tune of Maggie May.
Little Maggie
Little Maggie, why don't you have something to say to me?
Seems like forever since you got here, but apparently
You simply flat-out refuse to reach those terrible twos.
Oh, Maggie, why don't you get up off the floor?
You crawl all around our home. What you're thinking is always unknown.
You're still a baby; I think that's absurd.
Oh, when I look at your tiny face, you seem the right age,
But I'm sure that we have done so many exciting things,
This must be some kind of hoax, one of Bart's elaborate jokes!
Oh, Maggie, you should be two or three or four!
You crawl all around our home. What you're thinking is always unknown.
You are the oldest baby ever, without a doubt!
You repeatedly make friends and lend a pacifier
To whoever's having trouble and
On the double troubles sort themselves out.
You're too small to have a bed.
I wish I knew what was inside your head!
Oh, Maggie, do you think I should just ignore
That you crawl around our home? What you're thinking is always unknown.
You've never spoken to me. Goodness knows I've tried!
I suppose that I could take a look at putting you in school,
But when I look at you, I think that if I did I'd be a fool.
Red pacifier, baby blue gown, hair like a golden crown...
Oh, Maggie, you're small but you are full of grace.
You're as dependent as you can be,
But I suppose that's okay with me.
You're still a baby; I love you anyway.
Maggie, you're small but you are full of grace.
You will speak your mind one of these days.
Little Maggie
Little Maggie, why don't you have something to say to me?
Seems like forever since you got here, but apparently
You simply flat-out refuse to reach those terrible twos.
Oh, Maggie, why don't you get up off the floor?
You crawl all around our home. What you're thinking is always unknown.
You're still a baby; I think that's absurd.
Oh, when I look at your tiny face, you seem the right age,
But I'm sure that we have done so many exciting things,
This must be some kind of hoax, one of Bart's elaborate jokes!
Oh, Maggie, you should be two or three or four!
You crawl all around our home. What you're thinking is always unknown.
You are the oldest baby ever, without a doubt!
You repeatedly make friends and lend a pacifier
To whoever's having trouble and
On the double troubles sort themselves out.
You're too small to have a bed.
I wish I knew what was inside your head!
Oh, Maggie, do you think I should just ignore
That you crawl around our home? What you're thinking is always unknown.
You've never spoken to me. Goodness knows I've tried!
I suppose that I could take a look at putting you in school,
But when I look at you, I think that if I did I'd be a fool.
Red pacifier, baby blue gown, hair like a golden crown...
Oh, Maggie, you're small but you are full of grace.
You're as dependent as you can be,
But I suppose that's okay with me.
You're still a baby; I love you anyway.
Maggie, you're small but you are full of grace.
You will speak your mind one of these days.
Squirrel Watcher (Girl Watcher, The O'Kaysions)
Dogs love to chase squirrels, and I don't blame them. Critters don't get much more cunning than those bushy-tailed nut gatherers. Here's a little ditty to the tune of the O'Kaysions' Girl Watcher.
Squirrel Watcher
I'm a squirrel watcher, I'm a squirrel watcher.
Watchin' squirrels go by. My, my my...
I'm a squirrel watcher, I'm a squirrel watcher.
Here comes one now!
I was just a pup when I happened to look up
And see a big, bushy tail flicker.
I saw that furry face, and I couldn't wait to race.
But those darn things are always quicker!
I'm a squirrel watcher, I'm a squirrel watcher.
Watchin' squirrels go by. My, my my...
I'm a squirrel watcher, I'm a squirrel watcher.
Here comes one now!
I love chasing cats and sometimes will stoop to rats,
Chipmunks, mice, little birds and rabbits,
But those nutty squirrels are my favorite in the world,
And I can't seem to kick the habit!
Squirrel Watcher
I'm a squirrel watcher, I'm a squirrel watcher.
Watchin' squirrels go by. My, my my...
I'm a squirrel watcher, I'm a squirrel watcher.
Here comes one now!
I was just a pup when I happened to look up
And see a big, bushy tail flicker.
I saw that furry face, and I couldn't wait to race.
But those darn things are always quicker!
I'm a squirrel watcher, I'm a squirrel watcher.
Watchin' squirrels go by. My, my my...
I'm a squirrel watcher, I'm a squirrel watcher.
Here comes one now!
I love chasing cats and sometimes will stoop to rats,
Chipmunks, mice, little birds and rabbits,
But those nutty squirrels are my favorite in the world,
And I can't seem to kick the habit!
Inconceivable (Unforgettable, Irving Gordon)
Poor Vizzini... Inigo's keen powers of observation just keep blasting holes in his perfect plan. Here's another Princess Bride parody, to the tune of Unforgettable.
Inconceivable
Inconceivable! That's what this is.
Inconceivable those arms of his
Grabbed the cliff and still can cling to it.
That word has such a nice ring to it...
Never before has something been more
Inconceivable in every way.
Inigo, believe me when I say
This princess is not retrievable!
Her rescue is inconceivable.
You should think it's inconceivable too!
Inconceivable
Inconceivable! That's what this is.
Inconceivable those arms of his
Grabbed the cliff and still can cling to it.
That word has such a nice ring to it...
Never before has something been more
Inconceivable in every way.
Inigo, believe me when I say
This princess is not retrievable!
Her rescue is inconceivable.
You should think it's inconceivable too!
Still Lazy After All These Years (Still Crazy After All These Years, Paul Simon)
Most of us are lazy slobs once in a while. Here's to the ones who are more often than not, to the tune of Still Crazy After All These Years.
Still Lazy After All These Years
A microwave oven
Cooks my meals at night.
I eat while I watch TV
For a while.
I don't leave my neighborhood. I'm
Inclined to guzzle beers.
Still lazy after all these years.
Oh, still lazy after all these years.
I am the kind of man
Who lives on greasy fries.
I've never been to
The YMCA.
Yeah, cuz exercise takes too long,
And everybody jeers.
Still lazy after all these years.
Oh, still lazy after all these years.
I know I'm boring.
Keep ignoring
Me; I like it that way.
I'm in no hurry.
I just lie
On my couch all day.
If you peek in my window,
You will see me for
A loser, but it's how I
Want to stay
Till the day I get evicted
Cuz there's trash up to my ears.
Still lazy after all these years.
Oh, still lazy
Still lazy
Still lazy after all these years.
Still Lazy After All These Years
A microwave oven
Cooks my meals at night.
I eat while I watch TV
For a while.
I don't leave my neighborhood. I'm
Inclined to guzzle beers.
Still lazy after all these years.
Oh, still lazy after all these years.
I am the kind of man
Who lives on greasy fries.
I've never been to
The YMCA.
Yeah, cuz exercise takes too long,
And everybody jeers.
Still lazy after all these years.
Oh, still lazy after all these years.
I know I'm boring.
Keep ignoring
Me; I like it that way.
I'm in no hurry.
I just lie
On my couch all day.
If you peek in my window,
You will see me for
A loser, but it's how I
Want to stay
Till the day I get evicted
Cuz there's trash up to my ears.
Still lazy after all these years.
Oh, still lazy
Still lazy
Still lazy after all these years.
Sassin' You (Aspenglow, John Denver)
I'm going back to work in a seasonal kiosk next week, so Christmas is beginning to seep into my consciousness. Aspenglow is one of my favorite somewhat unconventional Christmas songs. I feel bad because this is the second tender John Denver song I've turned into a whiny kid's rant, but I guess that's just the way it worked out...
Sassin' You
See me acting out of line.
Listen to the way I whine.
When will you guys get a clue?
I'm not through sassin' you.
Aggravation is my goal.
I am only ten years old,
But I know just what to do.
I'm not through sassin' you.
What a lousy life I live!
There's so much that you should give.
If you don't, I might just leave.
There's so much I should receive!
I won't let you try to ground.
Screams will be the only sound.
If you touch me, I will sue!
I'm not through sassin' you.
See me acting out of line.
Listen to the way I whine.
When will you guys get a clue?
I'm not through sassin' you.
I'm not through sassin' you.
Sassin' You
See me acting out of line.
Listen to the way I whine.
When will you guys get a clue?
I'm not through sassin' you.
Aggravation is my goal.
I am only ten years old,
But I know just what to do.
I'm not through sassin' you.
What a lousy life I live!
There's so much that you should give.
If you don't, I might just leave.
There's so much I should receive!
I won't let you try to ground.
Screams will be the only sound.
If you touch me, I will sue!
I'm not through sassin' you.
See me acting out of line.
Listen to the way I whine.
When will you guys get a clue?
I'm not through sassin' you.
I'm not through sassin' you.
On The Late Show (In the Ghetto, Mac Davis)
Sometimes I think David Letterman must be nuts. But I sure do like him. Here's a little ode to The Late Show to the tune of In the Ghetto.
On The Late Show
It is unwise,
On a bright and sunny New York day, to
Gawk in the street several feet away
From The Late Show.
You could be surprised
By a melon or a can of glue
That falls from the roof and lands right next to you
On The Late Show.
People are so quick to stand
In line to see Letterman,
And they're convinced that if they're patient, they'll find a way.
Take a look at Rupert Gee,
Who is content to be
Stuck on the receiving end
Of Dave's dumb jokes each day.
And the interns
Do so many silly things, only Heaven knows
Why this position is one they chose
On The Late Show.
Though we quickly learn
That it isn't really filmed at night,
It has massive appeal,
So we think it's all right.
It's The Late Show.
Paul has been an inspiration;
That fella sure can play.
That clever man gets my vote
With Stump the Band and Will it Float?
Love his snazzy ties...
Before long, it will be time for the Top Ten,
Then some famous guests will enchant us again
On The Late Show.
Alan Kalter cries
That New York's the best city on the planet.
That's where they film good ol' Dave Letterman
On The Late Show.
On The Late Show
It is unwise,
On a bright and sunny New York day, to
Gawk in the street several feet away
From The Late Show.
You could be surprised
By a melon or a can of glue
That falls from the roof and lands right next to you
On The Late Show.
People are so quick to stand
In line to see Letterman,
And they're convinced that if they're patient, they'll find a way.
Take a look at Rupert Gee,
Who is content to be
Stuck on the receiving end
Of Dave's dumb jokes each day.
And the interns
Do so many silly things, only Heaven knows
Why this position is one they chose
On The Late Show.
Though we quickly learn
That it isn't really filmed at night,
It has massive appeal,
So we think it's all right.
It's The Late Show.
Paul has been an inspiration;
That fella sure can play.
That clever man gets my vote
With Stump the Band and Will it Float?
Love his snazzy ties...
Before long, it will be time for the Top Ten,
Then some famous guests will enchant us again
On The Late Show.
Alan Kalter cries
That New York's the best city on the planet.
That's where they film good ol' Dave Letterman
On The Late Show.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
This Song Is Gonna Be a Drag (Over and Over, Bobby Day)
This one's along the same lines as my Gary Puckett parody. Dad and I used to listen to Erie's oldies station in the car a lot, and whenever the Dave Clark Five's Over and Over came on, he'd say "This song is gonna be a drag..."
This Song is Gonna Be a Drag
Ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm.
Well, when I turned the radio on last night,
They were playing Dave Clark Five.
I said over and over and over again,
This song is gonna be a drag.
I said over and over and over again,
This song is gonna be a drag.
I said over and over and over again,
This song is gonna be a drag.
Ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm.
Don't know how it happened,
The dumbest song in the world
Has now seeped into my consciousness and tortured me.
I'm a sad girl.
It's now seeped into my consciousness and tortured me.
I'm a sad girl.
It's now seeped into my consciousness and tortured me.
I'm a sad girl.
Ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm.
I am very sorry
That I turned that thing off too late.
There's no debate, no debate, no debate, no debate
It's a song I hate.
There's no debate, no debate, no debate, no debate
It's a song I hate.
There's no debate, no debate, no debate, no debate
It's a song I hate.
Ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm.
This Song is Gonna Be a Drag
Ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm.
Well, when I turned the radio on last night,
They were playing Dave Clark Five.
I said over and over and over again,
This song is gonna be a drag.
I said over and over and over again,
This song is gonna be a drag.
I said over and over and over again,
This song is gonna be a drag.
Ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm.
Don't know how it happened,
The dumbest song in the world
Has now seeped into my consciousness and tortured me.
I'm a sad girl.
It's now seeped into my consciousness and tortured me.
I'm a sad girl.
It's now seeped into my consciousness and tortured me.
I'm a sad girl.
Ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm.
I am very sorry
That I turned that thing off too late.
There's no debate, no debate, no debate, no debate
It's a song I hate.
There's no debate, no debate, no debate, no debate
It's a song I hate.
There's no debate, no debate, no debate, no debate
It's a song I hate.
Ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm, ah-mmm.
Playing the Tuba (Baby Beluga, Raffi)
The football season is approaching fast, so here is an ode to marching bands to the tune of Baby Beluga.
Playing the Tuba
Playing the tuba on the field for free,
Helping my team to victory,
Oh, how I love the autumnal glow
As our little band puts on a show.
Playing the tuba,
Oh, playing the tuba
In my uniform.
When the weather's warm,
It makes me happy...
Watch in wonder as we march and play.
We have practiced this every day.
When we're on, give a lusty shout.
Marching band is what this game's all about.
Playing the tuba,
Oh, playing the tuba.
Listen to our song.
At the least, pretend
You like to hear us.
Playing the tuba on the field for free,
Helping my team to victory,
Oh, how I love the autumnal glow
As our little band puts on a show.
When it's dark and you've been fed
Pop and hot dogs, you'll stare ahead
Till the game ends and we all file out.
Good night, all you fans, good night.
Playing the tuba,
Oh, playing the tuba.
It's a lot of fun.
Another game's been won
My legs are aching...
Playing the Tuba
Playing the tuba on the field for free,
Helping my team to victory,
Oh, how I love the autumnal glow
As our little band puts on a show.
Playing the tuba,
Oh, playing the tuba
In my uniform.
When the weather's warm,
It makes me happy...
Watch in wonder as we march and play.
We have practiced this every day.
When we're on, give a lusty shout.
Marching band is what this game's all about.
Playing the tuba,
Oh, playing the tuba.
Listen to our song.
At the least, pretend
You like to hear us.
Playing the tuba on the field for free,
Helping my team to victory,
Oh, how I love the autumnal glow
As our little band puts on a show.
When it's dark and you've been fed
Pop and hot dogs, you'll stare ahead
Till the game ends and we all file out.
Good night, all you fans, good night.
Playing the tuba,
Oh, playing the tuba.
It's a lot of fun.
Another game's been won
My legs are aching...
Friday, August 18, 2006
Don't Give Up, Buttercup (Build Me Up Buttercup, Mike d'Abo / Tony Macaulay)
Writing about Inigo Montoya got me on a Princess Bride kick, so here's an ode to Buttercup by Westley just before he finds her, to the tune of Build Me Up, Buttercup.
Don't Give Up, Buttercup
When this adventure's up (when it's up),
Buttercup, maybe
We can settle down (settle down).
This Humperdink clown
Will be forced to fall (forced to fall).
I have a tall
Ship we can escape to. Will (Baby, will)
You go with me still?
I've been true (I've been true),
For it's as you wish, darlin'.
I know how long we've been apart,
But don't give up (don't give up), Buttercup;
You have my heart.
"Please beware of masked men,"
I told you time and again,
But it's me! Do you remember when
You looked through that door
And, although I was poor,
You said true
Love bound us till the end?
Hey, hey, hey!
Won't you wait? You're on my mind.
Hey, hey, hey!
And when I find you I will be happy.
All alone, from sea to swamp to stone,
I've searched for you.
Oooooh, ooooooh...
When this adventure's up (when it's up),
Buttercup, maybe
We can settle down (settle down).
This Humperdink clown
Will be forced to fall (forced to fall).
I have a tall
Ship we can escape to. Will (Baby, will)
You go with me still?
I've been true (I've been true),
For it's as you wish, darlin'.
I know how long we've been apart,
But don't give up (don't give up), Buttercup;
You have my heart.
You brought me joy
When I was a farm boy.
I implore you not to let me go.
For years, I'm sure you
Thought me dead. It's not true,
And I'm more in love than you could know.
Hey, hey, hey!
Won't you wait? You're on my mind.
Hey, hey, hey!
And when I find you I will be happy.
All alone, from sea to swamp to stone,
I've searched for you.
Oooooh, ooooooh...
When this adventure's up (when it's up),
Buttercup, maybe
We can settle down (settle down).
This Humperdink clown
Will be forced to fall (forced to fall).
I have a tall
Ship we can escape to. Will (Baby, will)
You go with me still?
I've been true (I've been true),
For it's as you wish, darlin'.
I know how long we've been apart,
But don't give up (don't give up), Buttercup;
You have my heart.
I've been true,
For it's as you wish, baby.
I know how long we've been apart,
But don't give up (don't give up), Buttercup;
You have my heart.
Don't Give Up, Buttercup
When this adventure's up (when it's up),
Buttercup, maybe
We can settle down (settle down).
This Humperdink clown
Will be forced to fall (forced to fall).
I have a tall
Ship we can escape to. Will (Baby, will)
You go with me still?
I've been true (I've been true),
For it's as you wish, darlin'.
I know how long we've been apart,
But don't give up (don't give up), Buttercup;
You have my heart.
"Please beware of masked men,"
I told you time and again,
But it's me! Do you remember when
You looked through that door
And, although I was poor,
You said true
Love bound us till the end?
Hey, hey, hey!
Won't you wait? You're on my mind.
Hey, hey, hey!
And when I find you I will be happy.
All alone, from sea to swamp to stone,
I've searched for you.
Oooooh, ooooooh...
When this adventure's up (when it's up),
Buttercup, maybe
We can settle down (settle down).
This Humperdink clown
Will be forced to fall (forced to fall).
I have a tall
Ship we can escape to. Will (Baby, will)
You go with me still?
I've been true (I've been true),
For it's as you wish, darlin'.
I know how long we've been apart,
But don't give up (don't give up), Buttercup;
You have my heart.
You brought me joy
When I was a farm boy.
I implore you not to let me go.
For years, I'm sure you
Thought me dead. It's not true,
And I'm more in love than you could know.
Hey, hey, hey!
Won't you wait? You're on my mind.
Hey, hey, hey!
And when I find you I will be happy.
All alone, from sea to swamp to stone,
I've searched for you.
Oooooh, ooooooh...
When this adventure's up (when it's up),
Buttercup, maybe
We can settle down (settle down).
This Humperdink clown
Will be forced to fall (forced to fall).
I have a tall
Ship we can escape to. Will (Baby, will)
You go with me still?
I've been true (I've been true),
For it's as you wish, darlin'.
I know how long we've been apart,
But don't give up (don't give up), Buttercup;
You have my heart.
I've been true,
For it's as you wish, baby.
I know how long we've been apart,
But don't give up (don't give up), Buttercup;
You have my heart.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
My Face Is Burning (A Church Is Burning, Paul Simon)
It's been really sunny here. Which is good, unless you happen to be out in the sun for hours at a time with no protection, as I was a couple weeks ago when I went to the Erie Air Show. I imagine this is a problem for a lot of people, and it seems like teenagers are especially inclined to wind up burnt... Anyway, here's a summery parody of Simon and Garfunkel's A Church is Burning.
My Face is Burning
My face is burning.
My skin grows brighter
Because I am playing
When the sun is high.
Because I am playing,
My red face is saying
If I don't come prepared,
I'll be burnt as can be.
Three-seventeen. I'm determined to keep
Going with the game, though the penalty is steep.
When I was home only hours before,
My mother warned me and
Tried to adorn me with
Sunblock, but I made a dash for the door.
My face is burning.
My skin grows brighter
Because I am playing
When the sun is high.
Because I am playing,
My red face is saying
If I don't come prepared,
I'll be burnt as can be.
Three-seventeen, and I'm still in the park.
I am troubled by the sight of my pigment growing dark.
I should have heeded her warning, but the fourth quarter remains,
And if I left now then I would have to forfeit the whole game.
My face is burning.
My skin grows brighter
Because I am playing
When the sun is high.
Because I am playing,
My red face is saying
If I don't come prepared,
I'll be burnt as can be.
When I go home, I will grumble and groan.
I'll blame my mom for letting me come out here all alone.
But I'm playing right now, so I guess that I can stand
Growing lobster-like with each tick of the second hand.
My face is burning.
My skin grows brighter
Because I am playing
When the sun is high.
Because I am playing,
My red face is saying
If I don't come prepared,
I'll be burnt as can be.
My Face is Burning
My face is burning.
My skin grows brighter
Because I am playing
When the sun is high.
Because I am playing,
My red face is saying
If I don't come prepared,
I'll be burnt as can be.
Three-seventeen. I'm determined to keep
Going with the game, though the penalty is steep.
When I was home only hours before,
My mother warned me and
Tried to adorn me with
Sunblock, but I made a dash for the door.
My face is burning.
My skin grows brighter
Because I am playing
When the sun is high.
Because I am playing,
My red face is saying
If I don't come prepared,
I'll be burnt as can be.
Three-seventeen, and I'm still in the park.
I am troubled by the sight of my pigment growing dark.
I should have heeded her warning, but the fourth quarter remains,
And if I left now then I would have to forfeit the whole game.
My face is burning.
My skin grows brighter
Because I am playing
When the sun is high.
Because I am playing,
My red face is saying
If I don't come prepared,
I'll be burnt as can be.
When I go home, I will grumble and groan.
I'll blame my mom for letting me come out here all alone.
But I'm playing right now, so I guess that I can stand
Growing lobster-like with each tick of the second hand.
My face is burning.
My skin grows brighter
Because I am playing
When the sun is high.
Because I am playing,
My red face is saying
If I don't come prepared,
I'll be burnt as can be.
Dumb Song (Young Girl, Jerry Fuller)
I think Gary Puckett's Young Girl is one of the most irritating songs on the radio, and maddeningly it always seems to get stuck in my head once I hear it. Aggravation!
Dumb Song
Dumb song, get outta my head.
I'd rather have a good song instead.
Out with you, song;
You've been there too long.
I hated you to begin with.
I am incensed. I don't know what
I'll do if this goes on.
I think I'll tear
Out all my hair.
I think I simply will go nuts!
Oh, dumb song, get outta my head.
I'd rather have a good song instead.
Out with you, song;
You've been there too long.
Beneath your really catchy verses,
You are a demon in disguise.
I just don't know
How much more I can take.
If I should wake
With you still there, then I will cry!
Oh, dumb song, get outta my head.
I'd rather have a good song instead.
Out with you, song;
You've been there too long.
The radio station played you
When I was driving in my car.
Oh, I have tried
To shake you with no luck.
You're firmly stuck.
My efforts are in vain so far!
Oh, dumb song, get outta my head.
I'd rather have a good song instead.
Out with you, song;
You've been there too long.
Dumb Song
Dumb song, get outta my head.
I'd rather have a good song instead.
Out with you, song;
You've been there too long.
I hated you to begin with.
I am incensed. I don't know what
I'll do if this goes on.
I think I'll tear
Out all my hair.
I think I simply will go nuts!
Oh, dumb song, get outta my head.
I'd rather have a good song instead.
Out with you, song;
You've been there too long.
Beneath your really catchy verses,
You are a demon in disguise.
I just don't know
How much more I can take.
If I should wake
With you still there, then I will cry!
Oh, dumb song, get outta my head.
I'd rather have a good song instead.
Out with you, song;
You've been there too long.
The radio station played you
When I was driving in my car.
Oh, I have tried
To shake you with no luck.
You're firmly stuck.
My efforts are in vain so far!
Oh, dumb song, get outta my head.
I'd rather have a good song instead.
Out with you, song;
You've been there too long.
Christopher Robin (Rockin' Robin, Leon Rene)
Have I ever mentioned that when I was younger, I had a crush on Christopher Robin? What a perfect way to spend the summer, chillin' with Christopher Robin and Pooh in the Hundred Acre Wood. Here's an ode to Pooh's best buddy to the tune of Rockin' Robin.
Christopher Robin
He plays in the woodland all day long.
Merrily, the bear and he make up a song.
When Pooh has a craving for something sweet,
He provides the bear with his favorite treat.
He's Chris Robin. (Sweet, sweet as can be.)
He's Chris Robin. (Sweet, sweet as can be.)
Christopher Robin is the best friend that a bear could have.
I would like to follow both of them and see
What they do en route to the hunny tree.
The day is hot. Their pace is slow.
He holds Pooh's paw wherever they go.
He's Chris Robin. (Sweet, sweet as can be.)
He's Chris Robin. (Sweet, sweet as can be.)
Christopher Robin is the best friend that a bear could have.
If he would just come and take me by the hand,
I could spend the day in his enchanted land.
If gaily doing nothing is his daily goal,
Then Christopher would find in me a kindred soul.
He plays in the woodland all day long.
Merrily, the bear and he make up a song.
When Pooh has a craving for something sweet,
He provides the bear with his favorite treat.
He's Chris Robin. (Sweet, sweet as can be.)
He's Chris Robin. (Sweet, sweet as can be.)
Christopher Robin is the best friend that a bear could have.
Christopher Robin
He plays in the woodland all day long.
Merrily, the bear and he make up a song.
When Pooh has a craving for something sweet,
He provides the bear with his favorite treat.
He's Chris Robin. (Sweet, sweet as can be.)
He's Chris Robin. (Sweet, sweet as can be.)
Christopher Robin is the best friend that a bear could have.
I would like to follow both of them and see
What they do en route to the hunny tree.
The day is hot. Their pace is slow.
He holds Pooh's paw wherever they go.
He's Chris Robin. (Sweet, sweet as can be.)
He's Chris Robin. (Sweet, sweet as can be.)
Christopher Robin is the best friend that a bear could have.
If he would just come and take me by the hand,
I could spend the day in his enchanted land.
If gaily doing nothing is his daily goal,
Then Christopher would find in me a kindred soul.
He plays in the woodland all day long.
Merrily, the bear and he make up a song.
When Pooh has a craving for something sweet,
He provides the bear with his favorite treat.
He's Chris Robin. (Sweet, sweet as can be.)
He's Chris Robin. (Sweet, sweet as can be.)
Christopher Robin is the best friend that a bear could have.
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