Calculator (Operator, Jim Croce)

I am a writer, or at least I try to be. I am not, in any way, shape or form, a mathematician. I was never much good at math class, especially when I hit high school. It was only my sincere desire to avoid any ugly confrontations with my teachers that kept me from doing the following, to the tune of Jim Croce's Operator. As it was, playing with my calculator was generally the most enjoyable part of class...

Calculator

Calculator, well, would you get me through this class?
You see, I think that I'm gonna die of boredom.
I heard the teacher say
That we're doing trig all day.
I'd rather play some Tetris because it's more fun.

I will be discrete so no one knows
That I'm not doing math.
When she writes those numbers
Upon the blackboard,
I'll just play dumb,
Say it's brains that I lack
And, "Aw geez,
I need more batteries.
My calculator's shot.
I thought that it could help,
But clearly it cannot.
All that works is this game!
Oh, ain't it a cryin' shame?"

Calculator, well, would you get me through this class?
I don't know a thing about algorithms,
And I just don't care.
You know, I think that it's unfair
To teach these things when I can't do nothin' with 'em.

I will be discrete so no one knows
That I'm not doing math.
When she writes those numbers
Upon the blackboard,
I'll just play dumb,
Say it's brains that I lack
And, "Aw geez,
I need more batteries.
My calculator's shot.
I thought that it could help,
But clearly it cannot.
All that works is this game!
Oh, ain't it a cryin' shame?"

Calculator, well, let's forget about this class,
Even though it's the reason that I bought you.
I think truancy
Is the way to go for me.
I'll accept an "E".

I will be discrete so no one knows
That I'm not doing math.
When she writes those numbers
Upon the blackboard,
I'll just play dumb,
Say it's brains that I lack
And, "Aw geez,
I need more batteries.
My calculator's shot.
I thought that it could help,
But clearly it cannot.
All that works is this game!
Oh, ain't it a cryin' shame?"