My brother has an irrational fear of clowns. I'm pretty sure it's Stephen King's fault, but in any case he's not alone. Here's an ode for all those poor unfortunate souls who will never enjoy a circus, to the tune of Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me.
Don't Let Them Sic a Clown on Me
I'm in fright when the stage lights darken.
All those figures with their faces painted white
Stand in the shadows, their evil grins before me.
Frozen here, I am fearing for my life.
It is late. I hear my mother calling...
Is there a chance that clown's hiding a knife?
Well, you misled me when you said, "I bet you
Want to go and have some fun with me tonight."
Don't let them sic a clown on me.
You know, this circus stuff, there are no merits that I see.
I wouldn't even want to come here if I got in free.
Cuz when I see three rings, I think that they'll sic a clown on me.
I was fine, oh, until I saw that line
Of Painted Ones. I wish that they weren't real.
This is hard because I've been afraid of them so long.
Wish someone would save me from being their next meal!
Don't let them sic a clown on me.
You know, this circus stuff, there are no merits that I see.
I wouldn't even want to come here if I got in free.
Cuz when I see three rings, I think that they'll sic a clown on me.
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