Gandalf the White (The Rake's Song, Colin Meloy)

I have Lord of the Rings on the brain right now.  Here's a reflection from Gandalf - the slightly less responsible movie version, who's into drinking in libraries and barging in on hobbits in the middle of the night - addressing Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas to the tune of the Decemberists' The Rake's Song.

Gandalf the White

As I researched objects of power,
I blew rings and guzzled tankards of beer.
Then an Elven matron caught me,
And she chided, “Sir, you can’t smoke in here,
All right?  Books might ignite!”

Though I was irked, I had what I needed:
Confirmation we were facing the worst.
So much to do, a war to prepare for...
But I had to see Frodo off first.
I brought his plight to light
And gave him quite a fright.

“Frodo,” I told him, “Bilbo left a golden trinket.
I can’t rest until it’s finally gone.
Riders from Mordor could come to your door,
So you and Samwise must leave with the dawn.
Your flight starts at first light.”

Then when he left, I went to the wizard
Who I could count on to help with my quest.
Though I suspected that my efforts would be futile,
I had hope when I consulted the best -
The White - he’d set things right.
But White was not too bright.

Saruman locked me on the top of a tower.
Took an eagle to escape from his wrath.
Came back to you, and I led you but tumbled
Toward the Balrog as you ran up the path.
Our fight went on all night.

Then after I won, I left but returned here.
Seems the world was not finished with me.
I know that you think I don’t look like Gandalf;
That’s because the Grey is gone, you see.
So cite delight, not fright.
I’m called Gandalf the White!

Eros the Arrow Boy (Eli the Barrow Boy, Colin Meloy)

The following is a parody of the Decemberists' Eli the Barrow Boy, which sounds like one of the oldest songs I've parodied but is actually one of the newest. Posting that last parody of a song Clay Aiken sang put me in mind of my favorite hip young crooner of old standards. I might not be quite this far gone, but I certainly consider myself a Claymate...

Eros the Arrow Boy

Eros the arrow boy
Of the old myths
Spurns pants and spreads romance.
See his prey kiss
All down the day.

Above the city roofs,
He is shooting,
And few are Eros-proof.
He's a cute thing
All down the day.

Would he could come back
And get my love to woo me.
How I wish that I
Could help him find a way!
Till that time, while he
Is still a stranger to me,
I'll sit here and daydream about Clay.
I'll sit here and daydream about Clay.

Eros the arrow boy,
Be an angel.
You would bring me such joy
If you changed his
Hallowed heart today.

He'll say that he is mine.
I won't argue.
Slip that into your design.
Though it's hard,
You must find a way!

Would you could come back
And get my love to love me.
How I wish that I
Could help you find a way!
Till that time, I'll search
The sunny skies above me
While I sit here and daydream about Clay.
I'll sit here and daydream about Clay.