A Caribbean Dream (An American Dream, Rodney Crowell)

This Pirates parody is from the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band's An American Dream; I suspect that after this I may start running out of Caribbean-sounding music...

A Caribbean Dream

They didn't even offer him a parley.
His crew abandoned him, and he had no say.
I doubt that he predicted a mutiny,
But this old island's not a bad place to be.

Well, he is stranded, but it's all right.
Sandy beaches, drinkin' rum every night.
He's got no ship, so he's got nowhere to go,
But till the rum is gone, that's fine with Sparrow.

That ocean water is so pretty and clear,
And he enjoys the breeze from the palm trees here.
He doesn't know if there are any ships near,
But if he had to, he could stay here all year.

Well, he is stranded, but it's all right.
Sandy beaches, drinkin' rum every night.
He's got no ship, so he's got nowhere to go,
But till the rum is gone, that's fine with Sparrow.

Voila! A Caribbean dream,
Though he can't travel and his teeth are not clean.
And maybe when Sparrow opens his eyes,
He find a rescuer, but till then he's fine.

The waves upon the shoreline make a nice sound
While Sparrow's gulping all those potables down.
He doesn't know if there are any ships near,
But if he had to, he could stay here all year.

Voila! A Caribbean dream,
Though he can't travel and his teeth are not clean.
And maybe when Sparrow opens his eyes,
He find a rescuer, but till then he's fine.

Well, he is stranded, but it's all right.
Sandy beaches, drinkin' rum every night.
He's got no ship, so he's got nowhere to go,
But till the rum is gone, that's fine with Sparrow.

Bootstraps Bill (Margaritaville, Jimmy Buffett)

I knew I had at least one more Pirates parody in me, and what's more tropical-sounding than Kokomo? Why, Margaritaville, of course!

Bootstraps Bill

I gotta tell ya,
I was a young fella
When I met your mama, and I was afraid
To take on the bother
Of bein' a father.
Now just look at the mess I have made.

Wishin' that I could say I'm glad to meet ya, Will.
I've been thinkin' of you so long, my son.
But it's a shame that Davy Jones knows your name.
You're a slave; there's nowhere to run.

Well, pirates are ruthless -
And too often toothless -
And I thought you could escape from that life.
But Captain Jack found you,
And then he was bound to
Betray you and cause me even more strife.

Wishin' that I could say I'm glad to meet ya, Will.
I've been thinkin' of you so long, my son.
But it's a shame that Davy Jones knows your name.
You're a slave; there's nowhere to run.

If I could just save you
From this liquid grave, you
Know I would, but it seems you must stay.
You are nowhere near dry land,
So come and take my hand.
Perhaps we could bond just a bit anyway.

Wishin' that I could say I'm glad to meet ya, Will.
I've been thinkin' of you so long, my son.
But it's a shame that Davy Jones knows your name.
You're a slave; there's nowhere to run.
Yes, it's a shame that Davy Jones knows your name.
You're a slave; there's nowhere to run.

The Life of a Pirate (Kokomo, John Phillips / Scott McKenzie / Mike Love / Terry Melcher)

In honor of the phenomenally popular Pirates of the Caribbean - of which I am a big fan - I wrote a parody of the Beach Boys' Kokomo, which is one of my favorite summery songs. Enjoy!

The Life of a Pirate

The life of a pirate, you know you desire it.
A free-wheeling bandit. You have got to hand it
To Captain Jack Sparrow, never straight and narrow,
A pirate.

The Caribbean Sea
Has an archipelago
Where pirates tend to go
To look for gold, but they find
Treasures with a curse
And situations that just get worse.
All the sudden they're stuck
Staring into an aquatic hearse.
Avast, me hearties, yo ho!

The life of a pirate, you know you desire it.
Be a free-wheeling bandit. You have got to hand it
To Captain Jack Sparrow; he's the king of narrow
And intense escapes.
I don't know how he gets into such scrapes
While William Turner gapes...
Avast, me hearties, yo ho!

Johnny Depp.
Is he a hottie? Yep!

They will hoist the sail,
Swab the deck and never fail
To excite and delight
The movie-goers with their tale.
On the choppy waves,
They'll make amazing saves.
Under Jack Sparrow's command,
Their misadventures will all be grand.
Avast, me hearties, yo ho!

The life of a pirate, you know you desire it.
Be a free-wheeling bandit. You have got to hand it
To Captain Jack Sparrow; he's the king of narrow
And intense escapes.
I don't know how he gets into such scrapes
While William Turner gapes...
Avast, me hearties, yo ho!

Orli Bloom.
He'd make the perfect groom.

Everybody knows
Of that archipelago,
So if you wanna go and sail in search of some gold,
Avast, me hearties, yo ho!

The life of a pirate, you know you desire it.
Be a free-wheeling bandit. You have got to hand it
To Captain Jack Sparrow; he's the king of narrow
And intense escapes.
I don't know how he gets into such scrapes
While William Turner gapes...
Avast, me hearties, yo ho!