Daniel Desario (Daniel, Elton John / Bernie Taupin)

Here's a parody about one of my favorite TV shows, the sadly cancelled Freaks and Geeks. Though this thread was quickly dropped, in the first couple episodes Lindsay seems to have a pretty big crush on Daniel, who is nice to her but really isn't her type. This parody of Daniel is set midway through the second episode.

Daniel Desario

Daniel Desario's kind of a pain.
I don't want this bash tonight. I think it's sort of insane,
Oh, but how could I turn down those gorgeous eyes?
Oh, look out for Daniel, cuz he is one shifty guy.

Does he think I'm pretty? Perhaps it's a sin
To love a guy who is just as cavalier as James Dean,
Oh, but I just can't look at him enough.
Should I kiss Daniel? Want to kiss him so much...

Daniel Desario, you're older than me.
I think you have no shame, cuz you lie, cheat and steal.
Although I've tried to kiss this crush goodbye,
Daniel, I'm in love. I can't figure out why...

Daniel Desario's kind of a pain.
I don't want this bash tonight. I think it's sort of insane,
Oh, but how could I turn down those gorgeous eyes?
Oh, look out for Daniel, cuz he is one shifty guy.
Oh, yes, look out for Daniel, cuz he is one shifty guy.

Don't Let Them Sic a Clown on Me (Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me, Elton John / Bernie Taupin)

My brother has an irrational fear of clowns. I'm pretty sure it's Stephen King's fault, but in any case he's not alone. Here's an ode for all those poor unfortunate souls who will never enjoy a circus, to the tune of Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me.

Don't Let Them Sic a Clown on Me

I'm in fright when the stage lights darken.
All those figures with their faces painted white
Stand in the shadows, their evil grins before me.
Frozen here, I am fearing for my life.

It is late. I hear my mother calling...
Is there a chance that clown's hiding a knife?
Well, you misled me when you said, "I bet you
Want to go and have some fun with me tonight."

Don't let them sic a clown on me.
You know, this circus stuff, there are no merits that I see.
I wouldn't even want to come here if I got in free.
Cuz when I see three rings, I think that they'll sic a clown on me.

I was fine, oh, until I saw that line
Of Painted Ones. I wish that they weren't real.
This is hard because I've been afraid of them so long.
Wish someone would save me from being their next meal!

Don't let them sic a clown on me.
You know, this circus stuff, there are no merits that I see.
I wouldn't even want to come here if I got in free.
Cuz when I see three rings, I think that they'll sic a clown on me.

I Guess That's Why They Call It the News (I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues, Elton John / Bernie Taupin / Davey Johnstone)

I hate watching or listening to the news. It's not that I'm totally unaware of what's going on around me. It's that I'm too aware, and it constantly threatens to plunge me into depression, so I really need to avoid the news as much as I can in order to keep myself from thinking all the time about all the bad things that are happening, most of which I can't do a thing about. I can handle Good Morning America because a nice chunk of that is, well, good, if sometimes a bit fluffy. But anything else I need in very small doses. What better song to express my sentiments than I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues? (Note: This is the first anniversary of Peter Jennings' death. RIP, Peter.)

I Guess That's Why They Call It the News

I can't look away,
Except when they tell me the weather.
I'm glued to the screen, but the anchor won't say
That things are gonna get better.

It's always that way.
Tragedies happen worldwide,
And it won't be long before, when it is on,
I will run to my bedroom and hide.

And I guess that's why they call it the news.
Blood on our hands and domestic abuse.
Hurricanes, earthquakes, murders and riots,
Infectious outbreaks. Wish they'd be quiet,
But I guess that's why they call it the news.

Spinning in space,
Earth's a collection of lands
All full of people in deep desperation.
Is this what is means to be Man?

All through the world,
Crying and fighting, but help
Comes rarely, if ever. What can we do?
Watching news, I'm overwhelmed.

And I guess that's why they call it the news.
Blood on our hands and domestic abuse.
Hurricanes, earthquakes, murders and riots,
Infectious outbreaks. Wish they'd be quiet,
But I guess that's why they call it the news.