My Face Is Burning (A Church Is Burning, Paul Simon)

It's been really sunny here. Which is good, unless you happen to be out in the sun for hours at a time with no protection, as I was a couple weeks ago when I went to the Erie Air Show. I imagine this is a problem for a lot of people, and it seems like teenagers are especially inclined to wind up burnt... Anyway, here's a summery parody of Simon and Garfunkel's A Church is Burning.

My Face is Burning

My face is burning.
My skin grows brighter
Because I am playing
When the sun is high.
Because I am playing,
My red face is saying
If I don't come prepared,
I'll be burnt as can be.

Three-seventeen. I'm determined to keep
Going with the game, though the penalty is steep.
When I was home only hours before,
My mother warned me and
Tried to adorn me with
Sunblock, but I made a dash for the door.

My face is burning.
My skin grows brighter
Because I am playing
When the sun is high.
Because I am playing,
My red face is saying
If I don't come prepared,
I'll be burnt as can be.

Three-seventeen, and I'm still in the park.
I am troubled by the sight of my pigment growing dark.
I should have heeded her warning, but the fourth quarter remains,
And if I left now then I would have to forfeit the whole game.

My face is burning.
My skin grows brighter
Because I am playing
When the sun is high.
Because I am playing,
My red face is saying
If I don't come prepared,
I'll be burnt as can be.

When I go home, I will grumble and groan.
I'll blame my mom for letting me come out here all alone.
But I'm playing right now, so I guess that I can stand
Growing lobster-like with each tick of the second hand.

My face is burning.
My skin grows brighter
Because I am playing
When the sun is high.
Because I am playing,
My red face is saying
If I don't come prepared,
I'll be burnt as can be.

Precipitation (Anticipation, Carly Simon)

It's an overcast sort of day here. Hasn't rained yet, but I suspect it will at any moment, so this is my response to my dad's request to write a parody of Anticipation. I guess I've got rain on the brain...

Precipitation

We can never know what weather's gonna come
But we have weathermen anyway.
And I wonder if rain's coming from those clouds.
Will I suffer any showers today?

Precipitation, precipitation
Is makin' me wet.
I like clear days better.

And I tell you how queasy the forecast makes me feel
And how lightning causes me to flee.
Will I, I be forced to stay up through the night
Glumly thinkin' about how fun the sun would be?

Precipitation, precipitation
Is makin' me wet.
I like clear days better.

Now tomorrow we might have stormy weather.
How I wish that I could just change nature's ways!
But I can't, and there is no way to learn how.
I guess I'll have to get used to rainy days.

These are the rainy days.
I guess I'll have to get used to rainy days.
These are the rainy days.
These are the rainy days.
These are the rainy days.
These are the rainy days.

Snow in July (Woyaya, Sol Amarfio / Osibisa)

While I'm stuck on Angel Clare, here's a Woyaya parody. It's wishful thinking; it has just been so abominably hot here lately. I want to go crick-walking, and I want to get a pool. But I think a freak snowstorm might solve all of my problems...

Snow in July

It is snowing.
Heaven knows why it is snowing.
It is July.

But we don't care.
I'll tell you why we do not care:
Now we won't fry.

It's been so hot, you know,
That we don't mind some snow on the ground.
No, we don't care.
You must see why we do not care.
Bring on the snow!

It is snowing.
Heaven knows why it is snowing.
It is July.