Inconceivable (Unforgettable, Irving Gordon)

Poor Vizzini... Inigo's keen powers of observation just keep blasting holes in his perfect plan. Here's another Princess Bride parody, to the tune of Unforgettable.

Inconceivable

Inconceivable! That's what this is.
Inconceivable those arms of his
Grabbed the cliff and still can cling to it.
That word has such a nice ring to it...
Never before has something been more

Inconceivable in every way.
Inigo, believe me when I say
This princess is not retrievable!
Her rescue is inconceivable.
You should think it's inconceivable too!

Don't Give Up, Buttercup (Build Me Up Buttercup, Mike d'Abo / Tony Macaulay)

Writing about Inigo Montoya got me on a Princess Bride kick, so here's an ode to Buttercup by Westley just before he finds her, to the tune of Build Me Up, Buttercup.

Don't Give Up, Buttercup

When this adventure's up (when it's up),
Buttercup, maybe
We can settle down (settle down).
This Humperdink clown
Will be forced to fall (forced to fall).
I have a tall
Ship we can escape to. Will (Baby, will)
You go with me still?

I've been true (I've been true),
For it's as you wish, darlin'.
I know how long we've been apart,
But don't give up (don't give up), Buttercup;
You have my heart.

"Please beware of masked men,"
I told you time and again,
But it's me! Do you remember when
You looked through that door
And, although I was poor,
You said true
Love bound us till the end?

Hey, hey, hey!
Won't you wait? You're on my mind.
Hey, hey, hey!
And when I find you I will be happy.
All alone, from sea to swamp to stone,
I've searched for you.
Oooooh, ooooooh...

When this adventure's up (when it's up),
Buttercup, maybe
We can settle down (settle down).
This Humperdink clown
Will be forced to fall (forced to fall).
I have a tall
Ship we can escape to. Will (Baby, will)
You go with me still?

I've been true (I've been true),
For it's as you wish, darlin'.
I know how long we've been apart,
But don't give up (don't give up), Buttercup;
You have my heart.

You brought me joy
When I was a farm boy.
I implore you not to let me go.
For years, I'm sure you
Thought me dead. It's not true,
And I'm more in love than you could know.

Hey, hey, hey!
Won't you wait? You're on my mind.
Hey, hey, hey!
And when I find you I will be happy.
All alone, from sea to swamp to stone,
I've searched for you.
Oooooh, ooooooh...

When this adventure's up (when it's up),
Buttercup, maybe
We can settle down (settle down).
This Humperdink clown
Will be forced to fall (forced to fall).
I have a tall
Ship we can escape to. Will (Baby, will)
You go with me still?

I've been true (I've been true),
For it's as you wish, darlin'.
I know how long we've been apart,
But don't give up (don't give up), Buttercup;
You have my heart.

I've been true,
For it's as you wish, baby.
I know how long we've been apart,
But don't give up (don't give up), Buttercup;
You have my heart.

Prepare to Die! (Rocky Mountain High, John Denver)

For all you Princess Bride fans out there - and I know there are a lot of you - here is a startlingly bloodthirsty song to the tune of Rocky Mountain High. Inigo's got a natural high too, but something tells me peacenik John wouldn't approve too much... (Note: I know there was no "now" in the famed line. But I needed it, and I figure it was implied anyway...)

Prepare to Die!

I met you in the summer of a carefree childhood year
When you asked Dad to make you a six-fingered sword.
He painstakingly designed it. You demanded it and then
Slashed the heart of my poor dad, who I adored.

When you decimated my life on that unholy day,
I was young and wasn't very strong.
But my words will now be spoken, for I'm perfectly prepared.
I have waited for this moment for so long.

You killed my father; now prepare to die!
I see you have six fingers, and that's why
Your shadow will not darken the dungeon where you make men cry.
Now prepare to die! (You killed my father.)
Now prepare to die! (You killed my father.)

I know that you're a count; I'm intrepid Inigo
Montoya, and you really should fear me.
If I fail I will go crazy - but I will get the job done,
For the sake of my dad's sainted memory.

Now I walk, awash with gratitude that I at last have seen
Your foul face. Your life is mine to take.
I'm practically beside myself. Maybe now you'll understand
When you murdered Papa, you made a big mistake.

You killed my father; now prepare to die!
I see you have six fingers, and that's why
If you beg for mercy, you will hear my casual reply:
"Now prepare to die!" (You killed my father.)
Now prepare to die! (You killed my father.)

Did you ever stop to wonder whether I would find you here?
Did you underestimate my skill, my friend?
Now I want to see you on the ground. I'll shout out this phrase once more,
And then I will have my sweet revenge.

You killed my father; now prepare to die!
I see you have six fingers, and that's why
I know you are that same low and unscrupulous, unfeeling guy.
Now prepare to die!

My name is Inigo; now prepare to die!
I see you have six fingers, and that's why
I'm about to kill you. I will not be shy.
Now prepare to die! (You killed my father.)
Now prepare to die! (You killed my father.)
Now prepare to die! (You killed my father.)
Now prepare to die!