Idol's Gonna Change the World (Across the Universe, Beatles)

Six seasons into American Idol, and I'm still shamefully hooked. So here's an ode to my favorite guilty pleasure, to the tune of the Beatles' Across the Universe.

Idol's Gonna Change the World

Singers wind around the streets for days until their number's up.
We giggle and we gasp, we wonder how they could get any worse.
Catty girls and bashful boys leave dreams of stardom far behind
In dizzy clouds of misery.
Great TV and then some,
Idol's gonna change the world,
Idol's gonna change the world.
Idol's gonna change the world,
Idol's gonna change the world.

Paula picks a petty fight with Simon; he is tactless, but he's wise,
And with acidic slights he speaks of slaughtered verse.
Incoherent Randy rambles. Ryan grins, the face of FOX
Who doesn't mind the jeers that come his way
And every year get worse.
Great TV and then some,
Idol's gonna change the world,
Idol's gonna change the world.
Idol's gonna change the world,
Idol's gonna change the world.

Coming after months of mirth from singing
Solely to amuse, the hand-picked few boast victory.
Nigel and his gang will shove a thousand tie-ins at us till they're done;
That day will come when they have emptied out my purse.
Great TV and then some,
Idol's gonna change the world,
Idol's gonna change the world.
Idol's gonna change the world,
Idol's gonna change the world.

Great TV and then some,
Great TV and then some,
Great TV and then some,
Great TV and then some,
Great TV and then some,
Great TV and then some.

Randy (Brandy, Elliot Lurie)

I don't mind admitting I am a hard-core American Idol fan. Have been since the first episode of the first season. Now the sixth season is almost upon us, the perfect ticket to beat any potential post-Christmas blahs, and I'm getting psyched. So here's a little ode to Randy Jackson, to the tune of Looking Glass's Brandy, to help gear up for the big event...

Randy

There's a show on the western coast
Where young singers come to bravely boast
That they alone possess the most
Amazing voice around.

And there's a man known for saying "yo".
He is bald, and he's in the know
With bands he sang with long ago.
He started the Dawg Pound.

And Simon says, "Randy, you're a fine man,
What a good judge you will be.
But the show will get its good ratings
Thanks to me."

Randy wears a silver chain
Cuz he likes the bling, and he will not abstain
From jewelry. The stylin' game
Is a pastime Randy loves.

He's quite fond of saying, "Dude!"
And when Simon gets too rude,
He is not afraid to start a feud,
To holler and to shove.

And Simon says, "Randy, you're a fine man,
What a good judge you will be.
But the show will get its good ratings
Thanks to me."

And Randy sits by Paula and he proclaims performers pitchy,
And he chortles from behind his hand when dancing gets too twitchy.
But when he sees those hopeful youths, he advises them with care,
For he has also felt the stage lights' glare.

Each year, in town after town,
Simon tries to beat Randy down.
But Randy Jackson wears no frown
Despite what Simon says.

And Simon says, "Randy, you're a fine man,
What a good judge you will be.
But the show will get its good ratings
Thanks to me."

"Randy, you're a fine man,
What a good judge you will be.
But the show will get its good ratings
Thanks to me."