On The Late Show (In the Ghetto, Mac Davis)

Sometimes I think David Letterman must be nuts. But I sure do like him. Here's a little ode to The Late Show to the tune of In the Ghetto.

On The Late Show

It is unwise,
On a bright and sunny New York day, to
Gawk in the street several feet away
From The Late Show.
You could be surprised
By a melon or a can of glue
That falls from the roof and lands right next to you
On The Late Show.

People are so quick to stand
In line to see Letterman,
And they're convinced that if they're patient, they'll find a way.
Take a look at Rupert Gee,
Who is content to be
Stuck on the receiving end
Of Dave's dumb jokes each day.

And the interns
Do so many silly things, only Heaven knows
Why this position is one they chose
On The Late Show.
Though we quickly learn
That it isn't really filmed at night,
It has massive appeal,
So we think it's all right.
It's The Late Show.

Paul has been an inspiration;
That fella sure can play.
That clever man gets my vote
With Stump the Band and Will it Float?
Love his snazzy ties...

Before long, it will be time for the Top Ten,
Then some famous guests will enchant us again
On The Late Show.

Alan Kalter cries
That New York's the best city on the planet.
That's where they film good ol' Dave Letterman
On The Late Show.

Let Me Eat Your Teddy Bear (Teddy Bear, Kal Mann / Bernie Lowe)

I just read a very sad story today. Elvis Presley's Teddy Bear, along with many other valuable teddy bears at a children's museum in England, was destroyed by a guard dog. Apparently he just sort of went nuts and decided to decimate the contents of the museum. Or else he was just really desperate for a midnight snack...

Let Me Eat Your Teddy Bear

Baby, let me eat
Your priceless teddy bear.
Let me rip that thing to shreds.
I'll chew and chomp and tear.
Oh, let me eat
Your teddy bear.

I don't wanna eat a doughnut.
My boss eats those enough.
I don't wanna eat a burger
Cuz they're not full of fur and lovely fluff.

Just wanna eat
Your teddy bear.
Let me rip that thing to shreds.
I'll chew and chomp and tear.
Oh, let me eat
Your teddy bear.

Baby, let me nibble on your teddy's toes.
Let me spill his cotton guts
And gobble up his nose.
Oh, let me eat
Your teddy bear.