Hunny in the Jar (Gilgarra Mountain, Traditional)

I recently listened to Gilgarra Mountain, Peter Yarrow's version of the Irish folk song Whiskey in the Jar, and the more I thought about it, the more I couldn't resist giving the beleaguered Rabbit a wistful narrative of his own. And since the very American Peter did it, Rabbit, too, has to adopt a bit of a brogue for this one. Enjoy!

Hunny in the Jar

As I was a-makin' meself breakfast one mornin',
I spotted Pooh Bear; he had come callin' with no warnin'.
First I drew the curtains; I hoped I could deceive him,
But the knock on me door betrayed to me he wasn't leavin'.

Oh, I won't get very far,
For Pooh is bound to know,
Yes, Pooh is bound to know
There's hunny in the jar.

He counted on me bein' a benevolent old bunny;
I grabbed me door to lock it and protect me precious hunny.
"There's no one home," I called in a voice all light and breezy,
For I figured foolin' Bears of Little Brain would be so easy.

Oh, I won't get very far,
For Pooh is bound to know,
Yes, Pooh is bound to know
There's hunny in the jar.

I stood there in me kitchen, afraid of what was comin'.
That bear was undeterred, seekin' smackerels of somethin',
And so he grasped the doorknob. Oh, I wish I would have fought 'im;
How could I have known he'd block my doorway with his bottom?

Oh, I won't get very far,
For Pooh is bound to know,
Yes, Pooh is bound to know
There's hunny in the jar.

Pooh Bear was burly enough upon arrivin',
And once he had me hunny, his pot-belly was thrivin'.
At last he finished eatin', and he got up from the table,
But alas, I was forsaken; departure was disabled.

Oh, I won't get very far,
For Pooh is bound to know,
Yes, Pooh is bound to know
There's hunny in the jar.

Me house became a jail. I'll admit I was frightened,
For every day that bear in me door seemed to tighten.
Oh, how desperately I wished that he wasn't quite so round;
He'd knock out the wall if he gained one more pound.

Oh, I won't get very far,
For Pooh is bound to know,
Yes, Pooh is bound to know
There's hunny in the jar.

I waited for another, that boy so wise and charmin'.
I frantically explained that I found this quite alarmin'.
He promised he would go and get some help. He wasn't lyin',
And we tugged and tugged that bear until he finally went flyin'.

Oh, I won't get very far,
For Pooh is bound to know,
Yes, Pooh is bound to know
There's hunny in the jar.

There's some takes delight in the haycorns and the thistles
And some takes delight in the chummy hums and whistles.
But I takes delight in me hunny, now securely
Locked up, nice and safe from the bears who visit early.

Oh, I won't get very far,
For Pooh is bound to know,
Yes, Pooh is bound to know
There's hunny in the jar.


Gilgarra Mountain