Ode to the Ninja Turtles (Hazy Shade of Winter, Paul Simon)

I don't know if I'll catch the latest big-screen adventure of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while it's still in theaters, but I sure loved those heroes in a half-shell as a kid, so here's a tribute to them, to the tune of Simon and Garfunkel's Hazy Shade of Winter.

Ode to the Ninja Turtles

Teens, teens, teens, foes of the Clan of Feet,
Love to lounge around beneath busy city streets
Chomping their favorite treats.

Deep underground,
They are found
With the wise, whiskered trainer they call Splinter.

On their heads they wear colored bands
With little holes for eyes.
It isn't much of a disguise.
It won't fool the clan,
But it sure helps out the fans.

Deep underground,
They are found
With the wise, whiskered trainer they call Splinter.

Raph is the reptile in red.
Often prone to falling prey
To bursts of rage, he starts each day,
It might well be said,
On the wrong side of the bed.

Leo's blue,
And he might
Lead the fight
With his sword that shines so bright.

Orange-clad Mikey's comedy
Is the height of hilarity.
"Cowabunga!" he shouts with glee
Whenever it's party time.

Purple Donatello sits
And makes the most of genius wits.
It suits him just fine
To draw up clever designs.

Deep underground,
They are found
With the wise, whiskered trainer they call Splinter.

Underground now,
So renowned,
Ninja Turtles sleep safe and sound.