So I had to write something about Muriel. She's such a colorful character, and most of us probably can think of someone who's a bit like her. She's not evil like Umbridge, but she certainly is mean-spirited. So much the better for our entertainment, I guess...
Auntie Muriel
You're a nasty woman, Muriel, an ornery old bat.
All the Weasleys run for cover at the sight
Of your prominent proboscis and your pinkly feathered hat.
You're unparalleled at flinging stinging slights.
Though your surly shadow compromised a blissful, golden day
And your snarky insults might be worth forgetting,
There were bits of information that you managed to relay.
It's a good thing you were present at that wedding.
Tiny nuggets of the truth lay in aspersions that you cast,
And those facts were things that Harry had to know
So that, seeing the missteps that Dumbledore made in his past,
He'd be warned of all the pitfalls to forego.
Cackle on, malignant Muriel, and don't you ever cease
Doing just exactly that which you do best:
Making certain decent people are afforded little peace,
Being everybody's most unwelcome guest.
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