As I was riding in the car on the way to my camping destination on Friday, it occurred to me that I had not yet parodied a Beatles song, a situation I determined to remedy. I'm somewhat disturbed that the first song I came up with was Maxwell's Silver Hammer; does this reveal some sort of psychosis? Nonetheless, I ran with it. Here is a song for all those flashes in the pan who think they're such hot stuff until they swiftly vanish into oblivion...
The Ghost of Has-Beens Future
Once, Vanilla Ice, Nick Lachey and Sporty Spice
Met up for a drink.
"How long will I last in the business, do you-ou think?"
That's what Sporty asked,
But before the grueling task
Of working it out
Fell to her companions, somebody was heard to shout,
"Not too long!" Who would say such a thing?
The voice began to sing,
"'U can't touch this!' M. C. Hammer
Exuberantly said.
It is such a shame that Hammer's
Career is clearly dead."
Men of high renown - all the members of O-Town -
Readied for a show,
Carefully inspecting their faces in the-e glow
Of the bright stage lights
When one of them jumped in fright.
"Listen up!" he cried.
Faintly, in the distance, they heard a voice sounding snide.
And though they couldn't see him at all,
They heard him cruelly call,
"'U can't touch this!' M. C. Hammer
Exuberantly said.
It is such a shame that Hammer's
Career is clearly dead."
Oops, the Baha Men
Barked up the wrong tree again.
Hanson's bopping's through.
All Saints never, ever will figure out what to do.
At a grad party,
You might hear Vitamin C;
Otherwise they're toast.
(Otherwise they're toast.)
Each one of them is haunted by this peculiar ghost.
Oh, who is this strange bearer of doom
Who cries, beyond the tomb,
"'U can't touch this!' M. C. Hammer
Exuberantly said.
It is such a shame that Hammer's
Career is clearly dead.
Whoa, oh, oh, oh,
M. C. Hammer, man!"
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